Anguish & Desire/Chapter Thirty Four

This is Chapter Thirty Four of Danganronpa: Anguish &amp; Desire, Traitor Time!. In this chapter, the identity of a traitor among the group comes into question, and tensions begin to rise among the remaining Ultimates.

Author's Note: i lowkey don't know exactly what i'm doing next chapter so lol i should wait before posting but also i'm way overdue

“Satoshi--?!”

''My voice echoes throughout the empty classroom, blood-stained classroom. It was only a moment ago that Satoshi stood beside me, his smile wide, his arm draped around my shoulder. He had called me here to talk of something ‘urgent’, but only a few minutes into our meeting he had vanished.''

''Now, I’m stuck here. I tried to leave, but my body wouldn’t move. I wanted to scream, but I knew it wouldn’t work. So, I just called out for him, hoping for a response. But it never came.''

“Satoshi, please…”

Nothing, again.

But then…

''I feel something drip on my head. It was like water dripping out of a sink faucet. Drip, drip, drip…''

What is it?

''I steadily place my hand on top of my head, and...my hand is sticky. Why is it…?''

I put my hand in front of my face...and…!

''Crimon blood stains my hand. It’s...dark...and…!''

I can’t help but look up above me -- I know I shouldn’t have, I know it wasn’t worth it,,,but I had to be sure--!

''Above me is Satoshi, pinned to the ceiling with arrows. There’s one in his throat, one in his eye, two in his stomach--! He’s almost completely unrecognizable; just a lifeless corpse.''

''I can’t help but scream. I’ve...I’ve seen some horrible things so far. But he’s just so--!''

I find myself with my back against the classroom door, and,

I stumble into the hallway, and, the second I turn away from Satoshi’s body, I’m met with two pairs of dangling legs.

“W-What--?!”

''I stumble backwards and my legs give in. I wanna cover my eyes from Azama’s body, which hangs from a noose. Her face is a dark blue, and she has tears in the corner of eyes.''

Shiomi hangs beside her, his eyes shut -- there’s a huge dent in his forehead, and his glasses are shattered on the ground below him.

I turn around and jump to my feet.

I have to get out of here--!

They must’ve been in so much pain.

I’m next.

''I find myself shouting. “Rai? Nakata? Tomori?”''

“Why’re you yelling, Rabbit?” Tomori’s voice calls out to me.

“Tomori--!”

''I race to where her voice was coming from, but my body shakes too much. I don’t think I can make it there…!''

''The hallway gets longer and longer as I try to reach the end of it, but it doesn’t matter. I have to escape while I can. There’s no other options.''

''When I finally round the corner, I bang into Tomori. She’s bigger than me, so I fall backwards onto my butt, but I quickly crawl back toward her. “Tomori--! They’re gone--!”''

“Who is?”

“All--All of them--!”

“Rabbit, get up.”

''I look up to Tomori, and see her extending her hand out to me. “Take my hand. We should go.”''

I quickly nod and grab her hand…

''...but when I wrap my hand in hers, her arm immediately dissolves. I don’t even know if that’s the right term but it just--it just disappeared--!''

“Tomori--?!”

''I look up to her, and see her still smiling. Still. “What’s wrong?”''

''I can’t help but turn away from her ever-fading body. “I’m sorry--I’m sorry--I’m sorry--!”''

“Why?”

''I find myself running in the opposite direction of Tomori, who once again calls out to me. “Rabbit--!”''

''I’m sorry, Tomori. I’m so sorry.''

''I have to leave, though. I can’t wait around any longer.''

''What--what should I do? Where should I go? Are the others okay?''

''No--no, they should be fine. Nakata...nothing could hurt her, and Rai is smart! They could escape this hell.''

…

''I hadn’t noticed it, but I made it to the gymnasium entrance. Maybe...maybe they’re here…?''

I push the doors open...and…

...and…

...I wanna go home.

''I find myself looking at my two remaining friends. Nakata’s body is burnt to a crisp, and Rai has a knife lodged in their throat. Nakata is as still as a body can be, but Rai still shakes gently.''

“Rai--!

That means Rai’s still alive, right?!

In a matter of seconds I’m side by side with Rai, and for the life of me all I could hear was the sound of the gurgling of blood in Rai’s throat.

''I didn’t know what to do--I don’t know what to do. Do I remove it, do I--do I--!?''

''“Rai, please--! What do I do…?!”''

Rai--!

“Ken, wake up!”

W-What--!?

My body shoots up and my eyesight is blurry. Where’s Rai? Is Rai here? Is Rai okay--?!

I try to look around the bedroom, but...I just find myself collapsing back into my pillow. Everything's... so blurry. I can barely catch my breath--I’m so…

...I’m sweating, like, a lot, too. What is--what is happening?

“You were having a nightmare.”

I look to where the voice is coming from and see a blurry figured leaning over me. “Are you okay?”

“Rai, is that--?”

“Yes, hi,” Rai says, and I feel their hand pressed up against my forehead. “Ew, you’re all sweaty.”

“S-Sorry.”

“Gross,” Rai mumbles. “So, what was it?”

“What was what?”

“The nightmare.”

“I wasn’t having--”

“Oh, come on…” Rai says, sighing. “You were shaking pretty badly, saying my name. Saying the others’ name.”

“It was nothing, I promise.”

“It’s clearly not nothing,” Rai says, and as my vision slowly returns I see Rai roll out of bed. “You don’t trust me, do you?”

“Rai, no--!”

“That *has* to be the case, Ken. Whenever something important tells me you refuse to tell me. Whenever you find a clue, whenever there’s something involving the investigation, whenever you’re hurting…”

“Rai, please…”

“You don’t fully trust me. There’s no doubt in my mind that--that you trust me. I should’ve phrased that better, it’s just...you don’t one hundred percent trust me. What’s holding you back?”

I...don’t know.

I don’t wanna admit it, but Rai’s right. There’s always something that prevents me from telling Rai everything, but this...is different.

“I don’t want you to worry about me, Rai. There’s no reason for you to worry--I’m okay.”

“I don’t believe you,” Rai says.

“So you don’t trust me?”

Rai pouts, and disappears into my bathroom. “You know I trust you. I trust your intentions are in the right place and that you care about me -- but for that reason, I can’t trust that you’ll tell me the truth.”

I gently roll out of bed and pick my contacts up and wander over to the bathroom, where Rai stares at themselves in the mirror. I gently place them in, and as my vision becomes clear, I see a...rather large scratch on Rai’s cheek.

“What is that?” I ask, bringing my hand up to their face to touch it.

“It’s nothing,” Rai says, gently swatting my hand away. “You scratched me in your sleep.”

“Huh…?”

Did I really…?!

I look down at my fingernails--hey! They’re not long enough to do *that*.

“Ah, I was asking for it though,” Rai says, trying to force a smirk to me. “I shouldn’t have been leaning over you like that.”

I sigh, and gently place my hand on Rai’s shoulder. “Your teasing won’t work when your smile is that forced.”

...I lied. It almost worked.

Rai shakes their head. “I know. After kissing you, my charm has worn out.”

I leave the bathroom and fall back into my bed. “Never.”

I hear Rai giggle, and, all of a sudden… “Catch!”

I don’t have time to react, but a weight comes crashing down onto my body. I grimace, and try to move, but I’m caught in Rai’s trap.

Rai lays on top of me, and wraps their slender legs around mine. “Nope, no squirming.”

Rai’s...warm. Warm, but…

“St-Stop, Rai. I’m still all sweaty.”

“Uh…”

…

Was that…?

I look to Rai, whose eyes widen as they stare down at me, and they move toward my doorway, where Shiomi stands. He stares at us for a few moments before turning around to face the door. “I-I didn’t see anything! Just come to the dining hall!”

“Wait, it’s not--!”

Both Rai and I frantically tried to grab Shiomi’s attention, but he quickly left the bedroom. Rai quickly rolled off of me threw their face into a pillow. “Whyyyyyyyy?!”

“How did he even get in here?!”

Rai shakes their head. “I left last night to get an extra pillow--! I forgot to lock it again--!”

I shake my head. “Why…?!”

How’re we supposed to explain that…?!

“I’m too embarrassed to go now. I’d rather die.”

I nod in agreement, but...we had to go. We knew it. So we got up, and I threw my jacket and jeans on while Rai put on their short-shorts and a purple tank top.

We walked in silence to the dining hall, and when we opened the entrance…

...do you know how it feels to walk into a room and just *know* they were talking about you? Cause, that’s exactly what it felt like.

Tomori, Shiomi, Azama, Nakata, and Satoshi’s heads immediately turned toward us, and though Nakata, Shiomi, and Satoshi tried to hide the fact that they were just laughing at us, Tomori & Azama’s devilish smiles told us what we needed to know.

…

You’d think it’d be quieter since we just lost Yuka and Nakamoto, but...we’re really getting used to it now, aren’t we? I don’t know if that should bother me as much as it does...

I see Rai out of the corner of my eye take a deep breath before nervously running forward and sitting in the middle of Azama and Satoshi. “Hi, hi.”

I sigh and sit my butt down next to Tomori and across from Shiomi. “Good morning.”

Tomori grips my shoulder. “As the only adult here, Rabbit, I feel obligated to tell you--”

Whatever it is you’re about to say Tomori, please refrain.

“--Shiomi is a snake.”

“H-Hey--!”

Shiomi almost instantly leans forward. “No I’m not.”

“You’re the worst wingman, like, ever,” Tomori says. “He came right down here and ratted you guys out.”

“For what…?!”

I see the redness in Shiomi’s face intensify. “I-I d-don’t know…”

So you really did think it was that…?

“I-If I had to give it a song title, it’d be Burning--”

I quickly cup my hand over Shiomi’s mouth. “Don’t finish that thought, please.”

Shiomi just nods and sits back down, as I look across the table to Rai, who is also being pestered by Azama. “Now, now, Rabbit, why don’t you tell us what’s really going on?”

“What’s going on? With what?”

I’m going to avoid this question no matter what.

“Well, ya know--”

Nakata leans in from next to Shiomi before Tomori can continue. “We’ve got a lot to discuss this morning, please quiet down you three.”

“Oh, we do?” Tomori asks. “What is there?”

“The exit is still locked,” Nakata says. “Nakamoto’s hypothesis about it opening after the next person’s death was inaccurate.”

“We kinda figured,” Azama says.

She sighs, and, though she says that...she looks like she was hoping she was wrong.

“So now what?” Satoshi asks. “We don’t have any clues to that code on the door.”

“We have another shot before the gun goes off,” I say. “Should I--”

“No.”

Literally everyone said that in unison. Did they practice?

“Let’s just relax and see what happens,” Shiomi says. “We’ve got nothing better to do.”

“I don’t like that,” Nakata whistles to herself.

“I don’t either, but…”

“...what else can we do?” Tomori finishes.

There’s a silence that falls across the room.

…

I hadn’t really noticed before, but...

“There really isn’t many more of us left is there?”

There used to be sixteen of us. When we hit fourteen, it didn’t really feel like much, and then even eleven wasn’t so bad. Nine was fine, but now that we’ve hit seven…

...this place is really taking its toll.

“I can’t even remember most of them,” Tomori sighs. “Well, it’s like--I see their faces, still. I still see their bodies, but…”

Shiomi just nods. “It’s the same for me.”

“It’s lonely without them,” Rai says, timidly.

“Guys don’t be such downers,” Satoshi says, and Azama nods her head. “We’re almost done!”

“There’s not much else he can do to us,” Azama says.

“I don’t know anymore,” Shiomi says. “I really don’t.”

“I’m not thinking about giving up,” I say. “I just...I just wanna remember them.”

“Tani was shy, and could be rude,” Shiomi says, gently placing his hand over his heart. “I remember when we first woke up here and I couldn’t stop staring at her. I think I might’ve been staring too much, cause one of the first things out of her mouth was, ‘what are you looking at, freak?’”

“That sounds like her,” Nakata says, gently placing her hands to her side.

“Sasada and Saishi were just the sweetest,” Tomori says. “They...they’d want us to get out of here -- all of us. There’s no question to it.”

“And we need to fulfill Nakamoto’s wishes,” Azama starts. “ Y’know, he was always a clumsy pushovers, even in middle school. He was my senpai and by that point had almost covered his debt in full, and, though we weren’t close, he tried to seduce me multiple times.”

“Of course he did…” Satoshi says, smiling to himself. “He kept trying to get me in the sauna alone with him to ‘talk,’ but who really knows what it was truly about.”

“For Yosano, too. If she saw how many of us were gone she’d be so pissed at us--!” Rai exclaims. “I don’t want anyone to be sad anymore.”

I just nod to myself. “I need to get out of here and apologize to Yuka’s family. I want her memory to live on.”

“Me too,” Satoshi says. “It just...sucks waiting.”

“Then kill! Get this show on the road!”

Seriously...what now…?

MonoMech jumps up on on the far end of the dining room table and trots down to where we sit.

“Oh, it’s you…” Azama says, sighing to herself.

“What could you possibly want right now?” Tomori asks.

“What’s with that reaction?!” MonoMech exclaims. “I miss the good ol’ days when I’d appear and Satoshi, Ken, and Rai could cry tears of joy--!”

“They weren’t joy…” Rai mumbles.

“Well, whatever! I’m here to bring a present~!”

“A present?” Nakata asks.

“Keep it,” Tomori mutters.

“What?! I’m being soooo nice to you right now!”

“What is it?” Nakata mutters.

MonoMech stares at the seven us, almost like he’s surveying us. Like he’s looking for a weakness. “Well, we have nothing else for you guys to explore! So, let’s add the next motive right away since we’re getting to the end: there is a traitor among you guys, and if you find them, and kill them, you can escape!”

…

W-What…?!

“There’s a what--?!” Rai asks.

“R-Really…?” Satoshi asks, and everyone rises from their seats.

“Kill that person and the rest of you can leave,” MonoMech says. “Easy enough, right?”

“You really think we’ll believe you?!” Tomori asks. “You’re just nervous we’re gonna kick your ass, ain’t that right?!”

“No, there is most definitely a traitor amongst you seven. One who has been feeding me information, such as the contents of the meeting that you all tried to hide from me last night. Do you really think you’re all that clever?”

N-No way…

...there really is…

...no--! There can’t be--!

“Take what you want by it,” MonoMech finishes. “Have fun, my children.”

And with that, MonoMech disappears as quickly as he appeared, leaving a trail of dust and a sense of unease among us.

“Is it...true…?” Rai asks. “Is there really a traitor…?”

Azama steps forward. “W-Which one of you is it…?!”

“You believed him?” Tomori asks. “Why…?!”

“It’s fine,” Shiomi says, loosening the collar of his shirt. “If we kill the traitor…we can go?”

“W-What are you saying?!” Satoshi asks. He gently places his hands in the air, as if trying to calm the two down.

“MonoMech thrives on paranoia,” Tomori says.

“I’m just so tired…” Azama mumbles. “If we can leave, then...the traitor should come forward.”

“What?!” Rai asks.

“Yeah,” Shiomi says. “If you come forward--”

“--I’ll kill them,” Nakata finishes.

N-Nakata…?!

“So you guys don’t have to get blood on your hands, I’ll kill the traitor myself.”

With that, Nakata’s eyes close, and then…

...bloodlust.

All I could sense coming from Nakata was bloodlust.

“N-Nakata…?!”

When her eyes opened, my entire body went numb. Her eyes landed on me, and I felt like I curl up and die there.

“Ken.”

“Y-Yes?”

“It’s you, right?”

“Ku-chan…”

“N-No, Azama it’s not--!”

“What makes you say that?” Shiomi asks, and though his question is directed at Nakata, I feel him glaring at me.

“Y-You guys--?!”

“It’s the only thing that makes sense,” Nakata says. “It’s gotta be you.”

“B-But I’d never--!”

“Never what? Never betray us?”

“Y-Yes--!”

“What’s with you guys?” Satoshi asks. “We can’t be doing this--!”

“Nakata, please--”

But, I can’t finish my sentence. In a flash, Nakata disappeared from where she stood, and appeared directly in front of me. It was like she teleported. I’d never seen speed like that before--!

Before I could even attempt to react, Nakata’s hands wrapped around my throat.

Instinctively I try to pull her hands away, but it just makes her squeeze harder, and, I feel her lift me up ever-so-slightly off the ground.

I couldn’t close my eyes if I wanted to, because they were glued on her face. Nakata’s eyes were wide, she glared at me with hate, betrayal...a look I knew all too well.

“Nakata--!”

Satoshi’s cries go unheard, but…

...she’s a liar.

“Y-You’ve been holding back.”

That was all I could mutter. She’s been holding back this entire time--! She refused to take our training sessions seriously. She never once came to me when she needed help -- because she refused to admit she needed it. After MonoMech took her, Nakata refused to reintegrate herself. She’d always been like this--! And now--and now--! She’s holding back even now.

“Shut up,” she spits out.

Her words are full of venom--regret.

“Let go of him!”

Nakata suddenly lets me go and takes a few step backwards. The second her hands released my throat I couldn’t help but choke as I tried to catch my breath. My eyes closed as I lazily fell to my knees, and when I reopened them…

Tomori and Satoshi stood between Nakata and I, and Rai grabbed onto my shoulder. “Are you okay?”

Tomori cracks her knuckles, and Satoshi holds onto one of his arrows like a knife, and they both shield me from Nakata, Shiomi, and Azama.

“What are you guys doing?” Azama asks.

“He’s the traitor,” Shiomi says, and, out of the corner of my eye I see...is that a knife?! Why does he have a knife?!

“Whatcha gonna do with that, baby?” Tomori asks. “I’ll take on all three of ya if I’ve gotta--!”

Satoshi nods to himself. “I’m really, really sorry! But, I won’t let anyone else die!”

“This is how we end it,” Nakata mutters. “How do you not see that?”

“What if you’re wrong?!” Rai nearly shouts, and, as they do so, pulls me closer to them. Rai guides me back to my feet, but I can’t help but rub at my throat still -- it fucking hurts! “Then you’d take him away from me--!”

Rai…

“I’ll kill all of you if I have to,” Nakata mutters.

I see Satoshi falter, but, he does his best to recompose himself. “T-Try it!”

Dude, she’s a professional killer!

“Give Ku-chan to us,” Azama says, and she elegantly steps forward, holding her hands up for all of us to see. “It’s okay. It really is. We’re not wrong,” she pauses, before leaning forward and screaming, “WE’RE NOT WRONG--!”

Shiomi takes that as his cue and he tosses his knife to Nakata, who, in a flash, flies past both Satoshi and Tomori.

She’s too fast--!

But--!

If there weren’t so many people here I’d maybe have a shot with my training--!

I have to make sure Rai doesn’t get hurt.

I throw both my arms around Rai and turn my back towards Nakata. I hear Rai yelp, but…

...nothing happens. “Go--!”

I look back up and see Tomori holding Nakata by the wrist, wrestling her for that knife. “But, Tomori--!”

“Go, Rabbit--!”

“Th-Thank you--!”

I grab Rai by the wrist and sprint towards the entrance to the dining hall.

“W-Wait--!” I hear Shiomi yell after us.

With ease I make it out of the dining hall and I look over my shoulder to see Satoshi trying desperately to get a grip on Nakata’s waist so he can hold her down as Shiomi runs after Rai and I, and Azama just watching us in shock. They’re out of view when I turn the corner and we make it back to my room with relative ease.

I basically shove Rai inside and lock the door behind me.

I stick my hand in my pockets for my keys, but--!

They’re gone. My keys are gone.

Did Nakata swipe them?!

Shiomi was right on our tail, we can’t even go out there to get to Rai’s room--!

Rai, wait--!

“Rai--Rai, oh my god, are you okay--?!”

I walk steadily toward Rai -- who all the while just stares at me with their big, bulging eyes -- and before I can get to them, my body just...stops. I fall back to my knees and once more Rai’s frail frame comes into view.

“I’m sorr--!”

I’m cutoff as Rai pulls my face into their chest. I feel Rai pat my head gently, and, before I can say anything, Rai’s voice echoes throughout my ears.

“If I could find a way to hold your face

If I could find a way to find my place…”

Tani...that’s Tani’s song, right?

Rai just softly sings in my ear, and, I melt into their embrace. We stay like this for a couple of minutes, and, it hurts. I know what has to be done.

“You’re a terrible singer.”

I hear Rai gasp and I look up to see their face; Rai wears a mock-offended look.

“Rude!”

I can’t help but giggle and, once again, Rai pulls me close to them. “Does being close like this help?”

“Yes.”

Rai giggles. “Good, my child.”

“Please don’t call me that, Rai. I’m older than you. I could be your senpai.”

“You don’t act like it.”

“But…”

“No ‘buts’, mister.”

Rai gently cups my face as I pull away from their chest, and all I can see is their bright smile. It...it reassured me. Made me feel wanted...something that I craved all my life. I wanna be useful, I wanna be wanted. And Rai--Rai’s the only one who truly makes me feel like that.

But…

...what if…

...what if I’m the one causing all of this?

They’re right. Azama, Shiomi, and Nakata are all right. If anyone here is a traitor, it’s me. Maybe I am, and I just don’t know it. There are so many weird things that don’t add up with me. Why was I the only one who didn’t remember my name? Scratch that, why was I the one to lose *most* of my memories?

If I am the traitor...Obinata was right all along. We should’ve listened to him--! “You look troubled.”

...I should at least get Rai out of here.

“I’m not…”

“Stop lying to me, Ken.”

I wince. The sharpness in Rai’s voice is enough to pull me out of my own head, if only for a moment.

“Why do you always react like that? I’m not gonna hurt or berate you...I just wanna know what you’re thinking.”

I…

“Or can I guess, my amnesiac king?” Rai begins, tilting their head to the side. “Do you think I’ve forgotten? I know you better than you know you.”

For some reason...I don’t doubt that.

“Are you sure you’re not a king? Ah, imagine that! I’m gonna marry a king!”

Marry?! When did we take this step?!

“I’m dirt poor, actually…”

“That doesn’t matter! You’re MY king.”

How can you say corny shit like that with a straight-face?

I guess Rai notices my face turn red, and once more, they help me to my feet. However, the second I’m up, I turn away from Rai. I...I can’t look at them when I tell them this. I don’t wanna see the disappointment on their face.

“This is serious though, Rai. What if--what if it’s me?”

“If what…? The traitor?” When I not my head, I hear Rai sigh. “Don’t be stupid! Of course it’s not you.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I just...I just know.”

“You’re the one lying to me now. You don’t know that.”

“But, I--”

“You what? Rai, if this is it--if this is the way you guys can get out of here, then do it.”

“What are you insinuating? That we let Nakata kill you?!”

“If--If it comes t that, then--”

“It won’t come to that.”

“Rai, you’re not listening to me.”

“What is this really about?” Rai asks. “This isn’t about you just being the traitor, is it? What? Is this your way to atone?”

“Rai, stop.”

“No--cuz, you know what?! That’s bullshit! You’re being stupid! You’re not gonna go through with whatever plan you have--!”

“Why?!”

“Why what--?!”

“Why won’t you just let me die--!”

When the words escape my mouth, I instantly regretted it. Maybe...Maybe what happened next would’ve been avoided.

I slowly turned around to face Rai, and, if looks could kill, I’d have died there and Rai would’ve been the blackened. It was the first time I saw Rai filled with pure rage.

“That’s what this is really about?! How could you--?!”

Rai cuts themself off and curls their fists up in a ball. “How could you say that?! After everything we’ve been through, how could you give up--?!”

“I hate myself.”

“Y-You, what…?”

“I hate myself, Rai.”

Rai takes a step forward, and instinctively I take a step back. Is...Is Rai gonna hit me?

“I love you.”

Now’s my turn to get angry. Why...why won’t Rai give it up?!

“Sh-Shut up--! You’re just using me like everyone else does.”

“Why?! Why do you think that--how could you think that?!”

No one could love me. Not someone as useless, disgusting as myself.

“If I am the traitor, this is your shot to get out--! Let me go to Nakata and end this situation--!”

“You think I’d be okay with that?! I’m--”

I love you, Rai. That’s why…!

“If anything happened to you, I don’t know what I’d do. If I have to die for you to escape, I’d do it.”

Rai walks toward me, and again, I back away. The bloodlust I noticed on Nakata before was slowly seeping through Rai. “You’re being selfish--you’re taking the easy way out. Dying is SO easy for you to accept, huh?! And what about everyone else--everyone else who fought until the bitter end?! Do you not understand how disrespectful you’re being?!”

My back meets my wall, and Rai closes the distance between us until our faces are only inches away. “I-I know, Rai. But they’d want you guys to escape, so--!”

Rai grips the collar of shirt, and, only then do I notice they’re trembling. “What about me?! You’re going on and on about how you’d sacrifice yourself, but what about me?! I’ve lost everything here, you’re the only one left. If you really are doing this to protect me, then be there for me--don’t just give up.”

I shut my eyes closed. I can’t do it. I can’t look at Rai.

“Please, Rai, I’m begging you. Just let me do it.”

“No.”

Rai’s voice cracks and their grip tightens. “I’ll stay here all night like this if it means you stay.”

“Fine.”

“You’re lying to me.”

“All I said was--”

“Ken, stop arguing with me. I’m stubborn.”

Yeah, tell me about it…

“Look at me and tell me.”

I open my eyes, and all I can see is the fire in Rai’s eyes.

“I’m sorry, Rai.”

“That’s not what I want.”

I sigh. “I won’t do it.”

“Do what?”

“You’re really a pain, ya know that?!”

Rai smiles. “I know...but I wanna hear you say you won’t get yourself hurt.”

“I won’t do anything to get myself hurt, Rai.”

“Promise?”

“I mean...how do I say no to that?”

Rai smirks and releases me. “Can you wait here for a sec? I have to grab something.”

“Can I come with you…?”

“No,” Rai says. “They won’t hurt me. You--You are the one I’m worried about.”

I know Rai’s right, and that they have me under their thumb, so no matter what I won’t be able to change their mind. So I let Rai leave, and I sit myself on the edge of my bed.

Five knocks, that’s Rai’s cue.

That’s what I’m waiting for.

…

Rai was right, I’m selfish. I’ve been hurting for so long, and it’s all finally starting to catch up me. I’ll never forget the feeling of peace I felt when I thought I was going to die after the poison overtook me. I’m such a horrible person--!

...

But, now would be the perfect time to go find Nakata. Talk things out with her, or, maybe…

...no, I promised Rai. I can’t think like that right now. But, still...if I’m the traitor, I have to die. I have to get the others out of here. No one else has to die. That’s all the matters now.

This could be the only chance I have…

...and, nevermind. There are the five knocks.

I hurriedly unlock the door and open it, and Rai quickly squeezes their way into my room, holding a couple of tall glasses of water.

“You left to get water?” I ask, closing the door behind Rai and locking it..

Rai nods. “Don’t be disappointed. I also told Tomori the secret passcode to get in.”

Rai hands me a glass. “Who knows if we’re gonna have to camp out here for a while, drink up.”

I take the glass from Rai, and only then I realize how thirsty I actually am. I down it quickly, and notice the lips of Rai curl upwards slightly.

“What’s that face for?”

“Nothing, babe.”

Rai drinks their water and sits down on my bed. They pat the spot next to them, and, I groggily walk over there.

…

No--!

Before I reach Rai, my vision goes blurry and the feeling in my legs goes away. I fall forward, but I never hit the floor. My entire body feels like it’s going limp...why?! What’s happening?!

“I’ve got you, baby.”

Rai whispers those words in my ears, and all I can see is the light blue of Rai’s shirt. “Sleep. It’ll all be over in the morning.”

“N-Ra-no.”

No--!

Rai, what are you doing?!

“Shhh, my king--my angel,” Rai whispers.

St-Stop--!

I try to fight the fading feeling in my body. My eyelids grow heavy, my mind begins to numb. What did Rai do…?!

My eyes are forced shut, and I hear what sounds like a giggle coming from Rai. “R-Ra--”

A force on my lips prevent me from saying anything else, and the last thing I feel before all my senses fade is the feeling of Rai stroking my hair.