Dead Frontier/Issue 117

This is a preview for Issue #117 of Dead Frontier, titled ''Lost in My Mind. This is the third issue of 'Volume 20. '''The entire issue is planned to be posted the week of October 14, 2013.

Issue 117 - Lost in My Mind
Two weeks pass, and there’s almost an accusatory mood amongst everyone; they know Dre’s death wasn’t just an accident. The circumstances are too improbable. The possibility of an actual murderer is too much to handle for most, so no one brings it up. But everyone thinks it, sneaking in suspicious glances whenever they can and keeping a careful eye over their shoulder.

Another house has become their most recent destination, and a sign from yesterday alerted them they’re now somewhere in Nebraska, presumably the west end. It’s more progress toward LA, and it’s the only thing keeping any of them going now.

The house resides in a wealthy suburban area, around two stories high, and from the outside, it looks as if the apocalypse hasn’t touched it at all. The inside is, surprisingly, just as nice, with all the furniture intact and the walls only covered with dust and peeling paint. Not an infected in sight, not any pictures to determine who lived here. Must’ve fled early.

As everyone else brings in their belongings from the truck, the unusually sharp pain in his knee leads Cole to observe the house on his own, picking out whatever room he wants for the day or two they stay here.

He walks to the end of the hall, pushes open a door that sits ajar, and enters a bedroom.

He pulls the one bag he has off his back, and tosses it onto the greying mattress in the center of the room. The walls are a dark red, a bookcase lies against one wall and a dresser on the other. There’s even a TV, and the screen is cracked terribly. He sits on the bed, tests out how it feels, and determines he probably won't get that great of a sleep tonight. He can't totally blame that on the mattress, though, and his thoughts have turned to more serious matters.

He doesn't know what to think about Lucy. He convinced himself he trusted her--and he knows Dean is just saying whatever he can to twist his head--but he can't help but doubt her. He never forgot about what she did, either. But he forgave her, and now those feelings of uncertainty are rising again, which he attributes to the fact that everyone is so on edge, and they're all just pulling at straws for someone to blame. That's all he's doing: pulling at straws, searching for any possible answer to all this stealing food madness. And he resorted to actually accusing Lucy, of all people. He sighs, annoyed with himself. He's not really doing a good job of changing that negative opinion of himself now.

But does Dean have a point? She’s not entirely innocent. He never thought about the possibility of her using his grief against him, but now, it makes so much sense. And suddenly, he feels absolutely betrayed. When he met her, he wasn’t at all looking for anything serious. She was just a beautiful, charming girl that happened to show some interest in him--but he was still in mourning. But he needed some kind of reassurance and support...and she was there.

He poured his heart out to her, told her things he’d never told anyone before, because she was the only one willing to listen, although he’d known her for just a few weeks. And now he wonders if she even cared back then, or if it was all just pretense to get him to build his trust for her so she could stab him in the back anyway.

He suddenly feels repulsed, mostly at his own thoughts. She isn’t the same girl she was a year ago; she learned from her mistake and wouldn’t do anything to mess with his mind like that again. Would she? Or would she just as easily lie to him again, tell him she hasn’t been the one stealing, and go ahead and do it anyway?

No. He can’t let himself think like that. He’s made just as terrible mistakes, and she’s wholly forgiven him--why can’t he do the same? Something--something--is nagging at him.

Something isn’t right.