Talk:World of Anarchy/Chapter 1/@comment-26217707-20140412141910

Comment time comment time comment time Hello

K, so, I've read this and the prologue. One thing I do appreciate it you taking the time to let us get to know David, rather than bombarding us with characters, which is something I've seen done (and am guilty of myself :P). This intro does seem very zombie-fiction standard, meaning we have our protagonist confused and upset regarding this outbreak and he comes across his first infected, kills it...ya know. It's a formula (because its sort of realistic) but since this is fiction I would've enjoyed something a little more creative. While a majority of thr dialogue was pretty clean, a lot of it seemed to lack personality. Dialogue is a good way to make characters stand out, so I'd like to see less generic dialogue in the future. There also seemed to be a few sentences missing here:

"She handed him the towel, which he immed

itly used on Jenna's arm." I guess some parts were accidentally cut out, I dunno.

Something I liked was your brief foreshadowing, when the phone rang and David ignored me. I got that immediate sense that he shouldn't have ignored that phone call, and my suspicions were confirmed with DAT CLIFFHANGER. We got to hear that Jackie and Jim are at the square, and it seems like shit is going down, so if David and Teresa go there I see great potential for some action moments.

Overall, solid first issue. You have a good grasp of structure and storytelling, and if you just refine some technical things you could make this even better.