User blog comment:PBR Sharpshoot/A Long Road to Fortune: Opinions, Things that should change/@comment-26217707-20130129233615

Okay, here we go.

On a fundamental level, I would say fix up how you punctuate dialogue. It should be something like "Go kill that walker," Ashton said. Notice how there is a comma before the ending quotation mark, which would be the correct way to do it.

Then, as I was reading, espeically during issue 2, I thought it was odd how Ashton would continuously talk to himself. Talking to himself could work once in a while, but as the reader I found it kind of awkward. Either make him think those things, or change the story from third person to first person.

Also, I think you could work on your description of settings. I would have liked to know more about how to marketplace looked, and the area where Ashton met up with Mr. Chet. This could really strengthen your story.

For the most part, your grammar and spelling are good, but here and there there would be a missing word or typo that would catch me off guard. A few rereads of each issue before you post could fix that right up.

That's all I have for now. Looking forward to an even better Volume 2!