Beyond My Choices/Issue 15

Issue 15 - Back to Earth
Bradley

It’s been an hour since Teague and Carrie gotten here. They mentioned something about a “Rocco” dying. Apparently they were ambushed after finding the bus crash. I look towards the bar where Carrie and Teague sit. I’m surprised I see Jay and Chanel sitting next to each other, although it doesn’t seem like they haven’t spoken in days. Kiara, Dante, Lewis, and Kyle all sit down and for once it seems as if everyone’s comfortable.

The room actually looks pretty cool. It’s dark, but the lamps give off that “club vibe” as Dante would say. I stand up, and I feel creak in my back, as if someone has been sticking needles through my spinal cord. I feel dizzy, but I keep myself up. Palms my knees. I feel good now; I guess my concussion hasn’t fully gotten away.

“You alright?” I hear familiar voice behind me. It’s Tom.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I say as furrow my brows. “Alright, I was just making sure you were alright.” Tom turns away from me.

“Hey, how long you think we’ll be out here?”

“That’s a question I don’t even know. We could attempt too, but I’m not even sure if we have resources to make it back, and apparently Baltimore has been hell.”

“What do you mean it’s gone to hell?”

“I don’t know, Teague said it. He wants everyone in the morning to gather for a meeting so we’ll all be able to listen to him.”

“Why not now?”

“I don’t know Brad, I mean they’re tired, and want sleep.” I nod my head, and Tom shrugs. I don’t see him no more.

My eyes feel dry. I can feel that there bloodshot, and every blink feels like electric relaxation. I move swiftly back to my seat not caring what’s going to happen. And within seconds I find my eyes closed.

***

My eyes open. They aren’t bloodshot anymore. My body aches, as numbness feels my head. My eyes widen, as I realize I was the only one asleep. First one asleep, last one awake. I stand up, and this time I don’t have to hold myself up. I still wear the same cloths as I did yesterday. I haven’t taken a shower since we left, and clearly the other buses either failed, or they never bothered to come back to Baltimore. I reach inside my book bag. It’s black, and has three stripes. I always preferred Adidas over Nikes.

I pull out my deodorant; it’s the only thing I have to keep me smelling somewhat decent. My feet touch the cold floor, as I feel the after math of not having air conditioning. I force myself to smile as everyone has already gathered around Teague. He sits down on a pale stool, as everyone gathers around him. It reminds me when I was in kindergarten; everyone would gather around Mrs. Jeana. Shoot, I wish those days would come back. They were happy, but I have a feeling this won’t be nowhere near good news.

“Thank you guys, first and foremost for allowing Carrie and I stay here for now, but yea I’m going to just go out and say it.” Teague waits a beat, “Well, Lionell was murdered in killed at the docks.”

<p class="MsoNormal">For a moment I feel my heart drop, but I have no other words. I don’t have any reaction, I just feel rock drop in my chest. The man that saved me is now dead, and there wasn’t a thing I could do to re-pay him.

<p class="MsoNormal">In the corner of my eyes, I see Jay moving his hands as he talks with Chanel. His eyes are furrow, and for a moment I’ve completely forgotten about the bad news I just received. They both begin to move. I remember Jay wanting to head to some clothing store or something, to receive some needs. But knowing him, he’ll get some wants.

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">***

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">Audi

<p class="MsoNormal">I see a girl. See looks just like me, except she looks like a warrior instead of a princess. It’s amazing how much a person can change in three years. There’s only one mirror in this house, and I’m occupying it. I never really realized how much my freckles stood out during winter. I hold a brush in my hand, and it feels amazing to feel a breeze through my hair that isn’t from wind. I hear a knock on the door, and it’s Sully. “Hey, I just wanted to let you know we’re going on a little field trip, you want to come?” He says through the door.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Of course” It’s a voice that doesn’t sound like mine. It’s more high pitch than usual.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Alright cool beans, do you have a jacket? It’s pretty chilly outside.”

<p class="MsoNormal">I shake my head no, and for a split second I forgotten he can’t see me. “No” I say as my voice trails off. “Well, I’ll see if Leah has any.” I can imagine him smiling. He seems outgoing, but at the same time not. I continue brushing my hair.

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">***

<p class="MsoNormal">Sully holds out a leather jacket in front of me which I grab gracefully. I always have been a fan of heavy clothing. Although, I don’t remember the last time I had heavy clothing like this. I’m used to having my skin bare; wearing sleeveless shirts. It feels good for once, to finally cover my pale skin.

<p class="MsoNormal">“You ready?” Leah says. I can’t help but realize how pretty she is. Her brown hair shines against her smooth forehead. Her lips are pursed much like my Mother’s whenever she tried to impress my Father.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Yeah” I show my teeth for once. “Where exactly are we going?” I say as I follow them.

<p class="MsoNormal">“We’re going to stop by a few places, and are you any good with any weapons?”

<p class="MsoNormal">“I’m alright” I say, “Although I’m more of a bow person. My father taught me when I was seven.”

<p class="MsoNormal">“Perfect, because we’re going to be hunting for some deer!” She says cheerfully. I follow both her and Sully, until I’m hit with a blast of hair. It catches me off-guard and I force myself to breath in as much as possible. “You alright?” Sully asks me. I stare into his eyes, and I can tell he’s already used to this. I wonder how often they do this. “Yea, just didn’t expect the extreme weather” I say.

<p class="MsoNormal">“For real? You much have not lived up north for that long than.”

<p class="MsoNormal">I shake my head, and follow behind them. A blue mustang sits on the side of the rode. Its wheels gripping to the black ice roads.

<p class="MsoNormal">Sully enters the front seat, while Leah pulls the passenger seat forward. She gestures me with both of her hands to sit in the back. I walk slowly, until finally I find myself sitting behind both of them as if I’m their prisoner.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Don’t you think it might be a little too cold to be hunting? I mean I just can’t see any deer’s wondering.”

<p class="MsoNormal">“You’ll be surprise, I see at least two of them everything! Besides, it is nice to have a hunting buddy.” She smiles. I notice a smirk on Sully’s face. He continues to drive anyways despite the black ice roads.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Don’t you have Sully though?” I try not to sound confused, but my voice is much more silent than I expected.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Well Sully isn’t too much of an expert with weapons, so that’s pretty much out of the way.”

<p class="MsoNormal">“So, basically y’all guys do your own things to keep living on right?” I say. “Sully basically fixes anything, and keeps the generators running right? And I suppose you help bring the food in?”

<p class="MsoNormal">“Clever girl, but yes.” She shrugs.

<p class="MsoNormal">I nod my head, and force myself to smile at her. I stare at the window, as we pass a dozen of trees. Some lying dead on the ground, while others stand tall and conquer this world.

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">***

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">Jay

<p class="MsoNormal">I stare at the black roads. They’re as dim as always. I stare beside me at Chanel. Her face is plain. I’ve never realized how much different she looked, whenever she wasn’t happy.

<p class="MsoNormal">“You still mad at me?” I ask. Her mouth remains close. “Look we’re going to have to talk about this eventually.”

<p class="MsoNormal">“Well isn’t that the reason we drove out here?”

<p class="MsoNormal">“Yeah, although I think it’s pretty childish that I have to force you to come along.”

<p class="MsoNormal">“Have you ever maybe though I need my time?” She says. Her voice is rough, as if she’s trying to hold back tears. “I’ve been through a lot within these past 24 hours; you think my number one priority is to talk with you?”

<p class="MsoNormal">I feel a rush of emotions feel my body. My hands clinch the steering wheel, as I pucker up my lips. I pull to the side of the road, and I stare at her empty confused face.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Chanel, I’ve given you time, enough time actually.” I say, “It’s been like almost two weeks or some shit and we finally get a chance to finally be alone to talk about this.”

<p class="MsoNormal">I expect her to respond back, but for a second I believe she might actually be agreeing with me. “You want to talk about this? Okay, let’s talk about this.” Her voice is now demanding, every word she says, her voice gets deeper. “You were the one who decided to sleep with me while we were both drunk.” Her index finger pokes my chest.

<p class="MsoNormal">“So now it’s my fault?” I chuckle. “Funny thing was, majority of the booze was water-down. We both weren’t drunk and you know it.” She doesn’t respond. As her facial features, begin to slow down.

<p class="MsoNormal">“And don’t think that day on the bus, I wasn’t unconscious. I seen a figure, and that figure looked extremely like you.” I say. My voice sounds like an inside roar; even I’m surprised by it. “Olive brown skin, and beautiful, but instead of helping me, you chose to leave me for dead.”

<p class="MsoNormal">I feel sick to my stomach, and I can see tears begin to run slowly down her face. One by one, they make her cheeks wet. I sit in silence, until the engine roars. We’re back on the road. I stare at her, as she leans her upon the window.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Look, I can understand with how much you’ve been going through.” My voice is much softer. “I should have never even offered you that drink knowing you were in a happy relation-“

<p class="MsoNormal">“Stop” Finally she says something. Her voice is real low. “I’ll admit it, it was a stupid decision I made. You’ll probably not forgive me about the bus thing, but I’m sorry.”

<p class="MsoNormal">One part of me feels satisfied, but another part continues to tear at open gap in my chest. I force myself to make a small grind. “I’ll accept.”

<p class="MsoNormal">She shrugs her shoulders, and answers back with a small smile.

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">***

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">Sully

<p class="MsoNormal">My eyes are glued upon the roads. I feel the warmth of the air conditioning. I know we’re not supposed to have them on, but this weather is being a bitch to me right now. I reach under the radio as I look for a CD. I hesitate as I feel a slap upon my wrist. I stare up, making a smirk at Leah who has a wicked smile painted upon her face. “Eyes on the road loser” I shake my head with a smirk.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Man whatever, you just want to listen to your music.”

<p class="MsoNormal">“Well why else would I stop you?” I sigh as I nod the comments off. Leah sticks a disc inside the radio. Soon I hear the voice of Adele playing.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Really Adele?”

<p class="MsoNormal">“Uhm yea, I don’t see why not.”

<p class="MsoNormal">“Why not something to lighten the mood, you didn’t even ask Audi if she likes Adele.” I stare into the rearview mirror and Audi leans her head upon the window. She clearly doesn’t care.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Hey Audi” I hear the light voice of Leah say. “Do you like Adele?” She stares oddly at us, until she realizes what’s playing.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Of course.” For once, she smiles. It seems like the first time, although I’m still not sold on her.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Yeah, yea whatever girls.”

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">***

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">Leah

<p class="MsoNormal">The car comes to a slow stop. Around us is still constant scenery of trees. I step out while Ky stares blankly into a book. He’s such a nerd. “You ready?” I say turning to Audi who nods her head. We both exit at the same time. I head to the back of the trunk. I toss a bow towards Audi who catches it with ease despite her small hands. I set a rifle upon my back, and the air is still beating on me.

<p class="MsoNormal">The car begins to move, and Audi stares awkwardly. “Hey!” She screams.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Shh, keep it down. He’ll be back.”

<p class="MsoNormal">“What if something bad happen, and we don’t have transportation?”

<p class="MsoNormal">“Oh, be quiet. I’ve been out here plenty of times and nothing has happened.” I say, “Besides it’s hardly rare you see a pack of biters roaming around with each other.”

<p class="MsoNormal">“I guess.”

<p class="MsoNormal">“Come on, let’s get going.” I smile.

<p class="MsoNormal">I walk through the frosted grass, hearing ever foot step as every second passes by. The wind is still harsh. I imagine it’s blowing at least around 20 miles per hour. “You see anything?” I ask Audi.

<p class="MsoNormal">“No, unfortunately” She doesn’t look calm, or nervous.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Well hopefully we find something, so you can’t be able to be like I told you so.” I laugh, but Audi just shrugs. I guess I’m not the best jokester.

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">***

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">Audi

<p class="MsoNormal">“How long are we supposed to be out here?” I ask, I don’t mean to sound rude but my voice comes out as if I’m trying to make a statement. “It’s been at least an hour and we haven’t found anything.”

<p class="MsoNormal">“I know.” She says. We both stop as we see movement within the forest. It’s a deer. She gestures her hand towards the ground. I poise myself, lowering my butt inches away from the ground while I rest my arms upon my knees.

<p class="MsoNormal">“You want to take the shot?” Leah asks me. I’m caught off-guard by the question. It’s clear because soon she motions me to step forward. “Go ahead, no need to waist ammo around here.”

<p class="MsoNormal">I nod my head, and stare down at the deer. It munches its teeth, as it looks around wanderlust.

<p class="MsoNormal">I don’t feel any remorse when killing deer. Neither do I feel any remorse for killing biters. We all have the same goal in the world, and that’s to survive. I feel a false feel in my arm. I aim down the bow site, trying to get the clearest shot possible. The deer head is perfectly still. I release my grip. The arrow detaches but the deer is still standing. Out of shock it begins to ponder to another area of the Forrest I’ve never seen before.

<p class="MsoNormal">“It is alright, besides the weather isn’t all that good.”

<p class="MsoNormal">“I want to tell her it won’t be alright, but I know she’s just trying to help. So I force myself to smile. “I guess so.”

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">***

<p class="MsoNormal">For the next thirty minutes we travel around the woods hoping we’ll be able to find the same deer. No luck. I see buildings begin to arise in views. There brick, just like Electric Roads. I stare at Leah, as her eyes are widened. “Come on, we got to go.” She begins to speed by me, maintaining a pace I can keep up with.

<p class="MsoNormal">“What’s wrong?”

<p class="MsoNormal">“I’ll feel you in later; Ky should be here soon anyways.”

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">***

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">Bradley

<p class="MsoNormal">I sit in a dark room. Nothing is barely visible besides the single lamp which is lit in the center room. I like to play a game, and try to determine where everyone is sleeping. Although it’s usually always the same rotation, Tom, Chanel, Lewis, and Kiera get the four corners, while the others get inside ones.

<p class="MsoNormal">Throughout this little process in being in the middle, I’ve begun to ask myself ''what is so bad about having a middle booth. ''It’s the fact that I’m scared I’m going to wake up with some morning wood. It’s been nearly two weeks and I haven’t had sex. I’m pretty proud of myself to be honest. It sounds so silly to me, but sometimes I wish things were different. What if I never became a Kurio? Sometimes until this day I think about quitting. I’m not any Tom, A big bulky Lewis, nor am I Dante. There’s nothing unique about me. I’m not unique.

<p class="MsoNormal">I close my eyes hoping I’ll fall unconscious and paralyzed. Memories form the past begin to hunt my dreams. I see a happy Landan, my brother, the one who risked his life for me. I want to push the thoughts away but I just can’t. It seems every time I try, memories begin to from the back of my mind.

<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">***

<p class="MsoNormal">I stare at the ground; a red line stands in front of the tips of my toes. I crave the attention of the crowd but I can’t hear it. I stare around imagining the fans upon their feet screaming and cheering. Screaming and cheering for me. My elbow bends awkwardly, as I can see the caramel tips of a ball. It rolls my fingers, instead of going in, it bounces off. “Shit” I mutter to myself. I hear the gym’s door slam. I turn at a panting Landan.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Come on we got to go.”

<p class="MsoNormal">“What do you mean we got to go?” I ask, “What’s wrong?” He has no facial expression as he motions for me to follow him. I do.

<p class="MsoNormal">I hop inside his police cruiser, and it seems like the longest five minutes ever. We stop in front of a hospital. One of those hospitals white look haunted. It’s plain white, with a single red cross, not to mention this is where people die. Where Grandmother died.

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Last Issue: Issue 14 - Next issue: Issue 16
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