User:Pastelhaxe/best story ever pt. 1

TBH

IF THERE WAS AN APOCOLYPES

I'D PROBABLY STAB EVERYONE

GET IN A BOAT

AND JUST SAIL TF AWAY

MAYBE TAKE MY FAVE FRIEND

AND LEAVE THE REST

AND THEN I'D COME TO WHERE U LIVE

YOU GET ON MY BOAT

THEN WE GOTO VENEZUELA

WHERE MY FRIEND LIVES

WE PICK HIM UP

WE GOTO AMERICA

GET FITZ

AND THATS ALL WE GET

CAUSE WE'RE THE COOLEST

WAIT

AND THEN WE GOTO MONTENEGRO

GET MY GURL

THEN WE GO SOMEWHERE

IDK WHERE

MAYBE DILDO ISLAND

AND LIVE THERE

OKAY

WE WILL GOTO ALASKA

GET JAMIE'S GURLFRIEND TOO

SO WE WILL BE LIKE THE F.R.I.E.N.D.S CREW

3 GUYS 3 GIRLS

YOU [Jamie] AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND CAN BE ROSS & RACHEL

ME AND FITZ CAN BE MONICA AND CHANDLER

MIGUEL AND MARIA CAN BE PHEOBE AND JOEY

AND WE WOULD FISH RIGHT

WE WOULD EAT FISH

LIKE JUST FISH

UNTIL THE PLAGUE EVOLVED TO FISH

AND THEN WE'D EAT MARIA

YEP

AND THEN WE'D GOTO SHORE

MAYBE TO DENMARK

GET KAFFE

AND HE CAN REPLACE HER

TBH IDK

I'D BE AN EMOTIONAL WRECK

AND THEN WE'D GO BACK TO SCOTLAND

BECAUSE WE FORGOT MY DAD

AND PICK HIM UP

OKAY SO NOW ITS

JAMIE, FITZ, MIGUEL, PURRY, KAFFE AND FATHER SUNRAY

AND UR GIRLFRIEND

AND THEN OMG

WE HAVE TO GOTO AMIERCA

AND PICK UP FRANK DILLANE

AND THIS WILL PROBABLY TAKE US TO THE 3 YEAR MARK!?!?!?!?!

ABND SINCE YA KNOW

ITS THE END OF THE WORLD

WE CAN GO ON A BOAT TRIP AROUND THE WORLD

SO WE GOTO EGYPT

LOOK AT THE FANCY PYRAMIDS

CHINA

AND THEN FRANK AND I WOULD GET SAUCY, THREE YEARS STUCK INA BOAT TOGETHER, WE HAVE CONNECTED

HE WOULD BE 27 BY THIS POINT

I WOULD BE 18

IM LEGAL

AND ITS THE END OF THE WORLD ANYWAYS

SO WE'D BANG

U AND UR GIRLFRIEND WOULD BANG

OKAY SO LIKE 3 YEARS IN

I'D BE LKE

"FRANK..."


 * SEX*

AND HE'D BE LIKE

"PURRY YES"

NO TBH

I'LL CHANGE MY NAME DURING THE APOCOLYPES

U WILL REFER TO ME AS ZELDA

... [Jamie says something r00000DDDD]

OKAY SO IN YEAR 4 TO CEDLEBRATE THE 4TH YEAR OF THE APOCOLYPES WE EAT JAMIE

NO

WE

WOULD

GO TO THE SHORE

MAKE SURE NO ZAMBIES ARE THERE

THEN I'D BURY YOU IN THE SAND!!!

AND THEN STAB! STAB! STAB!

11:15

Jamie141

dats just rude tho

D;

AND THEN AS I AM STABBING YOU

NORMAN REEDUS COMES OUT OF THE BUSHES

LOOKING FABULOUS

AND HIM AND FRANK DILLANE EMBRACE IDK WHY

AND THEN

YOU WAKE UP IN THE BOAT

AND YOU SEE ME MARKING THE CALENDER

YEAR 4, DAY 40

AND YOU'RE LIKE WHEW

IT WAS ALL A DREAM

AND THEN NORMAN REEDUSES NAKED BODY CLIMBS ONTOP OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BUT HIS PENIS

HAS BEEN BITTEN OFF BY A ZOMBIE FISH

ITS A STUMP.

SO YEAR 4, DAY 90, NORMAN REEDUS LEAVES US

AND WE'RE LIKE OKAY BYE

AND ME AND FRANK HAVE SEX

BUT OUR CONDOM BREAKS

AND NOW IM PREGNANT

SO WE GO BACK TO MY HOMETOWN

FOR SHITS N GIGGLES

AND WE SEE!!

MY HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH!!!

HE LOOKS HUNKY

SEXY

AND HE IS HOLDING HIS SKYRIM DISK AND PANTING "WHERE DO I PUT THIS IN ITS BEEN 4 YEARS SINCE I'VE PLAYED SKYRIM HELP ME PURRY"

OMFG

AND THEN WE GOTO THE GUNSHOP

AND HE IS LIKE

"HEY SO HOW U DOIN'?"

AND THEN WHILE FRANK IS SCAVENGING

WE HAVE SEX

CAUSE I CANT RESIST MYSELF

WE'RE 19 AND LEGAL

AND THEN

WE HEAR A SCREAM

AND WE RUN OUTSIDE THE GUNSHOP

AND FRANK IS BEING HELD DOWN

BY A REALLY TALL GUY

AND IM LIKE

DAFUQ

AND THEN THE TALL GUY TURNS

WOAH ITS MY OTHER CRUSH

AND HE RECOGNIZES ME

"OH MY GOD PURRY"

"OH MY GOD [NAME]"

AND WE EMBRACE

AND MY OTHER CRUSH IS LIKE "WTF"

AND FRANK IS LIKE "WTF?!?!?!"

omG I SHOULD POST THIS

AND THEN IM LIKE

"YO WE NEEDA GO"

End of Part One.

Written professionally by Purry Sunray and Jamie Scrapsalot [sorry jamie i was trying to be funny dont hurt me]