Talk:Dead In The Street/Chapter 4/@comment-4105222-20130329101303/@comment-6664208-20130331200956

My editor took a stab at this and I think it's way better. I should have gone to him first before publishing it. I noticed how much I was spoon feeding Jerome's character and this makes him less of an arrogant jerk than what his character is supposed to be. Plus it's a lot more descriptive. Check it out.