A Long Road to Fortune/Issue 31

This is in the first issue in Volume 6 of A Long Road to Fortune. It is titled We Breathe, We Live, We Try.

*This issue contains strong language, so reader discretion is highly advised.

Issue 31
The sunlight finds its way into Francisco's living room as is he sitting down atop his comfortable couch. The comfort it provides for him at the moment is just uncanny. So much currently lingers on his mind regarding his night with Yuri and in his head he tries to formulate exactly what he's going to say to her but finding the right words seems like an impossible task for him at the moment. In his right hand he's holding onto another beer, a very ineffective substitute for coffee might he add. Losing his train of thought seemed to be happening a lot to him lately. He knows he should do something about the situation at hand though, so he forces himself back into focus just as Yuri's slow footsteps begin to make themselves audible. She makes her way slowly down the stairs and to the living room. Francisco observes her face, finds that same look of fear in it. He can't remember the last time he ever saw that expression on Yuri's maybe. Hell, maybe it was new and he really has not seen it before. But still, it was so unlike the Yuri he knows. Soon, Yuri sits across from him in the couch and both begin their awkward chat.

“I don't want you to feel bad about this Frank...I wanted it. I needed it. I was fully conscious when I made this decision.” she says with worry in her voice. Francisco hadn't thought about it this way but he is still certain that it was the wrong decision. “It was the right thing you could have done for me...so thank you.”

“Yeah, you say that now like it was the best thing that could have happened but no Yuri-- it wasn't. You think you need this-- but you don't. You used me...just like I used you.” Francisco's speech resonates wit Yuri. It makes sense to her, it does but she doesn't care.

“Frank I--”

“Please don't try to say it's not what it really is. With whatever you're going through right now you need somebody to cope with-- somebody you don't really want.” he replies once more. Yuri's look changes to one of shame and she soon looks down at the ground.

“So don't try to justify this. There's nothing to justify alright?” he adds. Yuri finally looks back up, she's visibly upset by his tone.

“I thought you of all people would understand. You never inquired to think that I was faking all of that necessary roughness just like you? Not even once? You may not have to fake it anymore because you got over yourself but I can't-- I need someone to keep me company. I'm not a strong independent woman-- I'm just a pretty face hiding behind words. Can't you see that I NEED you right now?” Yuri says to him. Francisco suddenly feels regret-- it's always been about Yuri for him and so he always wanted what was best for her. This did not even remotely come off as something healthy. It was co-dependency after all.

He has to find some good on this. He could use the company...and the sex. Everybody around the marketplace has been incredibly stressed out lately with the expansion at hand. He knows Yuri isn't in love with him and ultimately he's just going to be used as her prince charming, her shelter from the outside world. But hey, better him than anybody else who would only care about her body, so he decides to finally comply, as forced as all of this on him was.

“I-- I guess that was rude of me. I meant no harm I just wanted what was best for you-- and now I see that I'm what's best for you because you need me...so I'm here for you now.” he begrudgingly says, but he hides this from Yuri.

“Thank you for understanding Frank, I mean it...” Yuri says. Francisco simply comforts her for a good minute or two of silence.

“You need any help moving your things over?” he asks, finally breaking that silence. A silence Yuri found endearing but Francisco found to be torture.

“Oh...no, that's alright. I don't have much. I won't need any help.” she says.

“Fair enough.” he replies. With that, Yuri rises from the couch. Slowly walking towards the door, Yuri soon opens it but looks back to Francisco between the outside and inside of the house.

“I really do want you to be with me Frank-- I-” before she goes on to say more mindless things in her defense, Francisco just gives her a reassuring nod. Yuri smiles and walks out the door.

Francisco continues to sit in his couch with his now warm beer. He contemplates looking down for a moment before giving his drink another big sip. However, no refreshing “ah” follows afterward.

Liza and Paloma walk side by side, each holding their firearms tightly. Paloma is slightly bothered by Liza's use of a weapon that hasn't been silenced but there are few groseros around for it to really matter so she easily ignores it. A grand majority of surrounding groseros have been wiped out by constant supply runs and expansion duties. Those few stragglers that still walk the streets are used as target practice and only provide a mild nuisance for the now smaller groups that go on these supply runs. The day is still cloudy and devoid of sunlight...just like Liza. Liza takes a front step, raises her rifle and shoots-- landing a perfect head shot on a grosero on the distance. Paloma gives her a smile even though Liza doesn't turn to look at her.

“You're a pretty good shot, much better than me. You know that right?” she says to Liza. Liza gives her a slow nod in reply. Paloma raises her handgun and scores a head shot of her own, although her grosero was much closer than Liza's. She smiles at her kill and Liza looks on impressed. Paloma is intrigued by the girl, no doubt about it. She can see a lot of herself in this girl and it peaks her curiosity.

“I never did tell you, did I?” Paloma says. Liza continues walking forward without turning to face Paloma.

“No you didn't.” Liza responds. Paloma wasn't surprised when Liza asked her that simple question earlier, for some reason she was expecting it. She takes a deep breath as both continue to walk the abandoned streets.

“I've killed my fair share of people, Liza. At first it was a self-defense kind of thing but...a group of men recognized me from one of my magazine shoots and the look of lust in their faces told me everything I needed to know. Four men just-- disregarding everything that even constitutes morality. I killed all them as soon as I could. They let their guards down and I just-- I held nothing back. I swear I can still feel their warm blood all over my body...but they're just the tip of the iceberg. I took revenge for this other incident that I just don't feel comfortable sharing yet, if that's okay.”

Liza isn't shocked by Paloma's answer yet at the same time she feels awful about it. She's not the only one that's been forced to take the lives of people-- and Paloma didn't even have to kill the people she loves. Regardless, Liza opens her mouth to speak.

“How did it-- feel? Killing all those people...did it feel good?” Liza asks. Paloma's look turns into one of sorrow. She notices that Liza has finally turned back to gaze at her, awaiting her answer with intrigue.

Paloma's real answer was yes...it felt so good to just get back at them, to give them what they fucking deserved. After all, why would she hold sympathy for killing scum? She hesitates to answer however...maybe it wasn't the best idea. This girl is standing right in front of her obviously waiting for her opinion on the matter. Maybe the truth wasn't the best thing for Liza to hear. It might have been too late for Paloma herself but she could still save this girl from drifting down a dark path.

“You'd think so but...not entirely. It feels good for a moment but then...the reality of the situation sets in. You just took a life. No one has the right to just take a life! You might be in it for a reason when you make the kill but after you go through with it and commit you end up feeling worse...all previous feelings of satisfaction are suddenly overshadowed. That's my take on the matter”. Paloma says. As soon as she speaks, Liza looks down in response. Paloma's words resonated with her, they fit so much.

“..but what if you get the urge to do it again?” she asks newly. Paloma was looking directly at her reflection, somebody who wasn't much different than her...but again, Paloma didn't want this.

“You resist that urge until you see no other choice. Keep in mind though, you shouldn't seek murder until it comes knocking on your door”. Paloma responds. Suddenly, Liza remembers the knock she first heard on her door before it finally collapsed. Leonardo and his cartel bandit friends, letting themselves in.

''“Liza, hide, before they see you! Hide!” her mother's words barely audible. But it's too late, a bandit has already set his sights on the ill Liza.''

Liza snaps out of it as soon as she hears Paloma fire her gun and the body of a grosero drop following it. Paloma looks at Liza with confusion.

“Are you alright?” Paloma asks. The legitimate concern on Paloma's voice makes Liza uncomfortable. Why did this woman care so much?

“Yeah, just dandy.” she replies sarcastically. Liza suddenly feels stupid, she didn't mean to sound sarcastic at all yet she just did and now Paloma was sure to ask.

“You sure?” Paloma asks, just as Liza anticipated. She doesn't want to be rude to the woman so she decides to give her a proper response. After all, her parents taught her to respect others before their untimely demises.

“No. My boyfriend went off on his own again. It's like-- he wants to be killed. It's just so--- ugh. Why is he so stupid?” Liza goes on, ranting away. Paloma listens intently and oddly enough, she thinks she can help.

“His name is Ashton right? I've only spoken to him once. He didn't look at me in the face.” she comments.

“He's not the social type, I guess on his behalf...” Liza responds.

“Don't worry about it. I guess what they say is true, opposites do attract.” Paloma replies. Liza forms a genuine smile on her face.

“Is this the first time he's abandoned you?” Paloma asks her.

“Ugh, no. He's been doing this his whole life....and I still can't get used to it.” Liza replies, she's clearly bothered by Ashton's actions. “And he's fully aware of this. All of it! Yet he just-- he just keeps doing it over and over again!” she goes on to add.

“That also means he's got a knack for coming back to you.” Paloma replies.

“I guess.” Liza replies back.

“Are you still religious by any chance?”

“No, I'm through with “religion”. I'm pretty that a real god wouldn't find it necessary to ruin the world in order to fix it.”

“Fair enough. But Ashton has always found his way back to you, hasn't he? You just need to have faith in him to do it again. I know it sounds simple but I know it's not. You just have to try.” Paloma responds.

“I can't. I know he's dead. Things aren't the same, a bite or a scratch can change everything now! Not to mention the fact that he's only gotten this far because of a series of stupid life saving coincidences! So you see, I can't keep thinking somebody who keeps testing luck will keep getting it! It's unrealistic...” Liza replies. By the time she's done talking she's already broken into tears and she's wrapped her arms around Paloma in comfort. She didn't know why or maybe she wasn't thinking straight but she wanted to hug this woman.

“You don't need to keep holding anything back you know that right?” Paloma says to her.

“Yeah, I know...” Liza responds. Amidst their tender moment, both women are confronted by about ten groseros in the distance, give or take. Paloma frowns in annoyance as she raises her gun fires. Liza cringes at the sound of the bullet firing, hugging Paloma tighter with each bullet.

Valdez frantically runs around the zocalo in search of either Mimi or Liza. He feels about his actions despite the fact that if Ashton were to ask him again, he'd do it again. But still, he needed to properly explain himself to both of his friends, so he could at least continue to keep calling them that. As he runs around, many people look at him in confusion but some like Daniel don't pay mind to him. Just Valdez being Valdez as far as he could tell.

“Slow down before you face plant!” Daniel yells out to him. Valdez doesn't respond to Daniel directly but complies anyway, slowing down to a jog.

He thinks of somebody to ask and it immediately occurs to him to ask Mendoza, as he had been out patrolling earlier. Valdz jogs out to the marketplace and slows down when he spots Mendoza, who had just finished inspecting the weapons vault.

“Hmmm...we've got an assault rifle missing. But how does an assault rifle simply disappear?” Mendoza thinks to himself. He's snapped out of his thoughts by Valdez's frantic “Hey!”.

“Hey! Mendoza! I need to ask you something!” Valdez tells him. Mendoza is clearly bothered by Valdez's rude entrance but simply sighs as he's quite use to his behavior. In fact, everybody pretty much is having put up with him for so long.

“What is it you want kid?” Mendoza asks.

“You were out patrolling earlier right? Did you happen to see Mimi or Liza? 'Cause they're both gone and I gotta talk to them!” Valdez says to him.

“Don't you and your little friends share a home outside of the walls? How would I know if they're even missing to begin with. That's a no kid.” Mendoza replies as nicely as he can.

“Well, shit. Thanks anyway...” Valdez responds. With that, he's off towards the zocalo again, still needing to be in pursuit of the friends he hopes he still has. While Mendoza returns to looking for his missing rifle, Gustavo makes his presence known.

“You know that monkey has the damn rifle right? He tried to hide it from me on the supply run yesterday. Needless to say he failed.” Gustavo says. Mendoza sighs in annoyance.

“Damn it Valdez...why didn't I expect this?” Mendoza replies to him.

Valdez continues to move around the zocalo, continuing his frantic search. Sweat runs down his face from all the running and jogging, never ceasing to end. He's not the only searching for a lost friend however, as Sandra and Jesus are on searches of their own.

“Mario? Hey! You need a new sling!” Sandra calls out. She is approached by Pepe who begins to talk to her about Mario's whereabouts. It appears he too is looking for him.

“Pal, where are you? I need to talk to you!” Jesus calls out. No response. Valdez thinks ahead and makes his way to Jesus' front.

“Hey man, have you seen Liza and Mimi? You know, the hot chicks I usually hang out with?” he asks. Jesus looks at him and shakes his head.

“Sorry. If I do see them, I'll let you know. Have you seen Paloma around though?”

“No man, sorry. I've been so hella focused on finding my friends that every single face I've passed is a blur.” Valdez replied to him.

“Well, alright man. Thanks anyway.” Jesus responds to him. But before either can speak can continue with their search, Max approaches both.

“Hey, Valdez, Mr. Jesus, my mom's been looking for Mario. Have any of you seen him?” Max asks diligently.

“I'm afraid not little man, sorry.” Valdez replies.

“Yeah bud, neither have I. Sorry” Jesus replies as well. Max looks calm and simply nods in understanding.

“Ok. Thank you anyway.” With that, he's off to find his mom.

“Man, when I was his age I was hella rude.” Valdez says to Jesus, who casually listens to him.

“Really now?” Jesus replies.

“Yeah, for real! His single mom did a better job raising him than my folks did me. Just goes to show that parents are directly responsible of what their kids grow up to be like.” Valdez says.

“Yeah, I feel ya.” Jesus says, uncomfortably rubbing the back of his neck.

How he wishes he wasn't such a momma's boy, maybe then he would have gone out to see the world and escape Tecpan's “shelter”. Truth be told, Jesus was one of the many people afraid to leave the town because a much larger world was sitting out there, so erratically different from the world they've all known in the municipality of Tecpan.

Mario's whereabouts suddenly become clear as we see him out and about near the Apolonio, looking for any free stores to ransack in order to aliment his vice. His left arm was still and the sling currently supporting is not improving his endeavor. Very few groseros are in sight, and from the distance Mario can see them head towards the river. What the hell would they want from all that water? It's not like they can even drink it, or at least as far as Mario knows. But this is as far as he inquires-- he's got bigger things in mind.

Just a block away he spots a small convenience store that he thinks might have the cigarettes he's so hell bent on stumbling upon. Cockily smiling in fortune, Mario jogs lightly towards the store, anxiously awaiting entering its vicinity. What he can see through the metal door fascinates him-- a bit of food still decorates the shelves in the store and the mini fridge designed to hold beer is still functioning.

In fact, there's only thing getting in the way of his indulgence, and that's the small but efficient lock placed on the door. In a fit of desperation, Mario shakes door savegely to no avail. He wasn't expecting it to work in his favor yet he held out for the miracle. Mario stops and turns to his surroundings. If he could find a weapon or even a stone he could very well try to smash the lock off of the door with his free hand. And soon he does, a gray stone fit for the job is simply placed on the sidewalk across the street from him. With haste, he jogs over to the stone and grabs it, only to turn around and see a girl cutting the lock to the door with a pair of bolt cutters. This girl we know and love as Mimi Arguello.

“You know, these were just lying there on the ground about 3 blocks back. You couldn't think to pick them up?” she taunts him. Mario is visibly bugged by Mimi but he holds it in, he knows she's just a brat anyway but what really grinds his gears is the fact that she was even able to follow him so far without him noticing. He sighs, annoyed. Mimi takes pleasure in this.

“How long have you been fucking following me?” Mario asks.

“Just as long as you snuck past the guard on the west gate. Thank you for leaving the door open by the way, great idea.” she taunts him once more.

“You know most damn kids know not to follow an angry adult.” he calmly warns.

“Who are you calling a kid? I'm a teenager?” Mimi retorts.

“You look 14 for all I give a damn. So why did you decide to even follow me?”

“Eh, I don't know asshole. Call it a curious hunch...and now I know you're hurting badly.” Mimi replies. She makes the mistake of twitching slightly and Mario can spot a single tear of sweat. It's desperation at its best if he's ever seen it. Mario scoffs, and suddenly forms a cocky smile. He approaches Mimi with his intimidating physique and begins to glare into her eyes.

“I'm not the only one having trouble with a little stress relief am I? So what? You want cigarettes too? Only fucking retards smoke at your age.” he adds. Mimi gulps at Mario's tone of voice. Mario isn't exactly a tall guy but in comparison to short ol' Mimi he towers. Plus his muscular build adds to the whole ridiculous comparison of their bodies.

“That's fucking gross, okay? I can't stand the fucking smell of those things. And why of all things would I want lung cancer? Do you really take me to be that moronic?” Mimi retorts. Mario isn't going to lie, he's both impressed and amuse by Mimi's spunk, even if she runs her mouth a little too much for her own good.

“Heh. Of course not. You see, only druggies twitch like you do girl. It all makes sense all of a sudden. Why we're out of painkillers and why I can't take one fucking pill for my arm. Your greedy addict ass up and gulped them!” Mario rudely responds. He's expecting Mimi to retort with an incredibly rude response of her own and when she doesn't, Mario takes the opportunity to add insult to injury.

“What? I know I'm right. I might have an addiction to cancer bites, but at least I'm not a dam pathetic drug addict.” This is all it takes for Mimi's face to get red with tears, just like Mario wanted her to be. He actually wants to break this kid, just because it's out of his moral codes range to smack sense into her. He expects to feel satisfied with this but soon tears begin to fall from Mimi's face, before she begins to sob uncontrollably, covering her face in shame.

“JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP! OKAY? YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT? YOU THINK I LIKE BEING ADDICTED TO THAT SHIT? NOO OKAY? I DON'T!” Mimi screams in response. Mario is taken back by this-- this sudden show of emotion.

He's been here before, where Mimi is just now. But unlike him, Mimi isn't pouncing on the first thing she sees, she's actually using her words, screaming in her defense. The satisfaction Mario felt a second ago ceases to exist all of a sudden. He pities this girl intensively yet he's not any better off himself. He's so much deeper into his addiction than Mimi is into hers that suddenly he feels like the pathetic walking pile of human crap. In his blind rage, his desire to get even with her, he forgets that she's just an emotionally troubled kid.

Mario can't contain himself any longer. He joins Mimi in an emotional display of tears. He clenches his fist so hard that his veins become highly visible and the large vein in his forehead comes into view as well. He begins to grunt furiously just as Mimi continues to cry. He feels like complete and utter shit. Right now he's just lowlife scum his pair of damned eyes. He tries to control himself, yet he can't. He recklessly pulls the store's door open and begins to ransack the shelves for a pack. To his surprise, he finds not one but THREE, all begin to be smoked. But Mario won't have it. He begins to crush them in his hand, all of them. After that, he stomps on them repeatedly in-between tears to be completely rid of them.

But he's not done yet. The fridge is the next thing to be pulled open and Mario carelessly trashes the glass bottles by throwing them all around the room until not one bottle of beer remains. Mimi watches this display of emotion from the outside, still sobbing but no longer covering herself. She sees the tears in Mario's face and reacts accordingly.

“MARIO! STOP!” she calls out to him. Mario is snapped out of his blind rage and picks up what's left of a box of cigarettes. He exits the store and holds it out in front of Mimi.

“YOU SEE THIS? THIS SHIT? IT MAKES ME FUCKING PATHETIC. IT DOESN'T HELP ME.” he proceeds by discarding the pack, carelessly tossing it away from him.

“I'M SORRY OKAY? I'M AN ASSHOLE I KNOW BUT YOU'RE-- YOU NEED SOMEONE TO HELP YOU NOT PUT YOU DOWN! PLEASE, I'M SORRY!” Mario begs. He's on his knees, banging on the ground like an ass. But Mimi actually...accepts this reply. She bends down to his level and stops his fist from becoming even more of a bloody mess. Both stay in this position for what seems like an unruly amount of time, despite it just being minutes.

“Let's just go back...” Mimi says. Both regain their proper stance and turn back the way they came. Tears still fall from their faces, they can't help it. But at least the sobbing has ceased.

By the time they arrive back at the zocalo, the blue sky is already a mix of orange and purple as nighttime is soon to come. Mimi and Mario arrive walking side by side but avoiding any physical contact with each other. The guard to the west wall wastes no time in letting them both in and as soon as they arrive at the zocalo, Valdez and Sandra spot the both of them. Valdez wastes no time in making his way over to the weeping Mimi. He offers her a comforting hug that she accepts without hesitation. Valdez sees the tears on her now silent face as Mario makes his way past Sandra, ignoring her completely. A fire suddenly ignites within Valdez and he turns his attention to Mario.

“Hey asshole! What did you do her?! Yeah that's right, I'm talking to you beefhead!” Valdez insults him. Mario turns back to him, and begins to approach him malicious intent. He's not going to take Valdez's crap, specially now. Right now was not the time for anyone to be fucking with him.

“Hey.” Sandra says to Mario just after stepping directly in front of him. “You're coming with me to get that thing fixed okay?” Sandra adds. Mario ignores her talking but stops in front of her. Instead he and Valdez continue to glare at each other.

“Hey!” Sandra snaps her fingers. “I'm talking to you! Have the decency to at least acknowledge that I'm here!” Sandra adds. Her tone of voice, furious. Mario suddenly turns

“I've been prancing around the community like an idiot all afternoon just looking for you and you're just now looking at me? Don't think I won't care big guy. If you go over there and beat that kid to a pulp, you're done counting on me for medical assistance or anything in general, got it?” she threatens him.

Mario shockingly finds it in himself to take a breather and calm down. His face is still red but tears or rage are not present in it anymore.

“I won't.” he replies simply. Sandra takes a breath in surprise.

“Well look at that.” With that, she crosses her arms and walks in the direction to the marketplace. When Mario doesn't immediately follow her, she turns back and scoffs.

“What? You want me to hold your hand all the way there so you don't get lost? Come on already!” she says. Mario complies and slowly follows behind her, turning back to look at Mimi one more time before continuing.

Night has befallen and Ashton is inexplicably now lying on his bed. It has to be about 12 AM judging from the full moon he can see outside. The last thing he remembers is Liza hugging him right outside the house and collapsing right in her arms. Surely enough, she's sleeping on a chair in front of him, caring for him. Ashton looks at her with this superfluous amount of guilt. This is an all too familiar sight...

“I love you so much....like you don't even know.” Ashton soundly says to her, despite knowing she's not conscious to hear his words.

“I don't need to leave anymore, and I won't. My place is here with you. It's always been with you.” he adds on. Liza isn't waking up anytime soon but he can't help himself.

He smiles warmly and lies back down, soothing his view with the display of constellations placed oh so elegantly on his roof. Their comfort is enough for Ashton to eventually return to his slumber.