Talk:A Long Road to Fortune/Banshee/@comment-26217707-20140105080635

This is a difficult comment to construct because I'm so amazed right now. This special is a clear contender for some of the best things I've read on this wiki, for so many reasons.

1.) Simply, the little details. This was, in the simplest terms, Patricia's special, but we got so much expansion on Ashton, and then some details on Sandra, Saul, and Mendoza, too. You intertwined all of it together flawlessly, it never felt forced, and it made the experience that much better. This line also stuck out to me, and I have to mention it: “Was.” Is what she says as soon as she interrupts him. It gives us some more insight on how these Tecpanians really think of Asthon, and Patricia's simple defense for him really stuck out to me.

2.) FUCKING PATRICIA OMG <3 In 7 thousand words, you took Patricia, a single issue character who we knew had a bit of importance to Ashton that wasn't expanded on, and turned her into this hero, this strong woman with more complexity than I've seen from characters in entire stories, PBR. My heart just grew a milion sizes reading about her relationship with Ashton and her love for him, and those final two scenes, where she was PROUD of herself right before her demise. So powerful and beautifully written, and that final scene gave me the chills.

3.) THE WRITING OMG <3 I'm very into analyzing writing, word choice, flow, all that stuff--and even if I'm reading something boring like...economics, it'll still pull me in (not saying this was boring btw, just using an example). And holy crap, so many sentences in here are so eloquent and beautiful that I had to reread them over and over because I was that in awe. You manage to inject to much emotion into your writing that it makes the reading ten times better. This special, as well as your last few issues of ALRTF, have definitely cemented you as one of--of not the--best technical writer on UFSW, in my opinion.

All in all, this was amazing, PBR. So much so, there's no doubt in my mind I'll go back to reread it at some point, just for my enjoyment. It was also very well needed and will service Ashton's character in ALRTF terrifically, I can tell. How you managed to make Patricia such a great character in such a short amount of time...is quite a feat, and I commend you. Great job PBR!