Board Thread:UFSW Discussion/@comment-23785492-20150816014510/@comment-23785492-20150827123700

ALinkToThePasta wrote: Okay I would be honest this character was planned for a story of mine but I cancelled it, I tried giving it to a user but I don't really think he deserves my help now, so I hope you make it good.



Drake Jafari

Data
Age: Late Teens to Early 20s

Ethnicity: Caucasian -American

Occupation: Unkown

Theme: Nirvana - Heart-Shaped Box

Personality
Drake is insane, and the apocalypse was his escape out of all the people he disliked.

having weird OCD/Anxiety attacks over a year now didn't help him. (you don't have to put this in the sotry tho)

Drake never liked people he met on streets/school, most of them sadly were jerks or rapists or something else that makes him cringe. for an odd reason he knew how to keep a secret and not tell anyone, Hate for people keeps him going as he hopes one day all of them would be dead/behind bars, Drake is obsessed with Justice for crimes after a dark day happened. The irony is that there is a big chance he has OCD what makes him not want to talk with alot of people or go outside, but many people come to him for advice,or to talk.

Backstory
a year before the apocalypse Drake and his parents were in a car accident, and his parents didn't make it...but he did.

before that Drake was born to two happy and loving parents that he loved and went to a really bad school filled with awful teachers and dumb students who never did good.

after the accident Drake killed a man for trying to rape a girl.

Drake is cliched on hating, besides being in the side of justice he hates drugs, alchohol, porn and all the things teens love to do/watch

Misc. Info

 * Drake's OCD attacks are kinda like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3kuuu_mcw8 (still, your call)
 * His worst fear is dying without helping for the cause of good
 * He is on the good guys' side not the bad side

Alright so honestly he does look rather interesting to do, maybe a bit of a challenge with the OCD attacks but thats the art of improving as the author writes. However I do quite honestly need more to work with, what you have given me is a good start to an audition and i'm not looking for huge detail but I do need more details to know exactly who I'm writing.

Age I'd like an exact date if you wouldn't mind.

Ehnicity is fine.

I would prefer for him to have an actual occupation rather than just "Unknown".

Personality and backstory (especially backstory) are the things that I need more details on. With personality I can do with more of the "cause of good" side of him and how that works with his OCD for example and backstory can just do with more general stuff if you wouldn't mind. I hate to sound picky or anything like that but I do need to know everything I can about characters for me to write them, otherwise I wind up making up a load of their story and personality and it doesn't feel as much of an audition.

I also need to point out that there is no relationships section which is rather needed. I mean it doesn't sound like he would have many there except for his parents but still, their names and some decent detail on how he got along with them would be nice.

With a character like this, you have no real need to bother about affiliation.

And the trivia itself is completely fine. Although with the OCD your mostly best explaining it to me through words how he acts instead of showing a video. :3

Apart from that, I would love to accept him when you have made a few modifications I have asked for. <3