Anguish & Desire/Chapter Nine

This is Chapter Nine of Danganronpa: Anguish & Desire, Execution Time!. In this chapter, Ken and the rest of The Ultimates continue on with their quest to find out who the blackened is; also, a gruesome execution takes place.

Author's Note: "If you have power, you can overturn the natural order." - Nagisa Shingetsu, the Li'l Ultimate Social Studies.

“Tani...how did you know the murder took place at two?”

“W-What...?” her voice, hollow and empty, mumbles. Her eyes grow ever-so-slightly wider.

“He said, how did you know what time the murder took place?” Obinata says, crossing his arms. “Simple question, if you ask me.”

“Wait a minute…” Nakamoto says, his eyes widening in his own rights. “...that’s right! Tani, how do you know what time the murder took place?! That’s like, super sketchy!”

She -- whether subconsciously or consciously -- takes a step back. “I-I just saw--”

“You saw what?!” Saishi exclaims. “Did you see the murder?!”

Tani flinches at Saishi’s words.

“S-Stop yelling at her,” Shiomi speaks up. Shiomi’s smile is crooked, he’s fidgeting. “Please, just, let her talk.”

“N-No,” she shakes her head. “I just heard her, though. I forgot to close my door all the way, so, I was tired and heard Yosano talking to someone. I-I didn’t think much of it, though, so I closed my door and went back to sleep.”

Shiomi smiles and takes a deep sigh. “See, that’s all it was, okay?”

“Wait,” Shiho interrupts. “Why didn’t you mention this earlier?”

“Yeah, it does seem weird,” Obinata nods, before continuing. “And, then -- if that is true -- can’t you tell us who she was talking to?”

Tani shakes her head. “I don’t know--I don’t know who it was. I couldn’t tell. I thought that it was Shimazaki at first, but they weren’t talking in tongues like she does.”

“Talk in tongues?!” Shimazaki exclaims, leaning forward. “Is there any other way to talk? Seriously, I heard that if you cut your tongue off and try to talk it’s a whole bunch of gurgle!”

...we didn’t need that much detail, Shimazaki...

“A-Anyways,” I say. “Yosano didn’t mention any names, you didn’t recognize the voice or anything?”

“No,” she frowns. “I didn’t hear anything like that. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Shiomi smiles, reaching over to the stand next to Tani to comfort her -- which she takes in her own. “Is that why you were so upset? You realized too late what was going on?”

She nods. “I would’ve tried to stop it if I knew what was going on…”

“Hold on,” Nakata says. “Don’t think you’re off the hook so easily.”

“W-What?!” Shiomi exclaims. “She already told us everything she knew, Merc.”

“No need to be disrespectful now, Shiomi.” Nakata smiles. “Just a few questions, if I may.”

“I don’t like this.” he sighs. “Are you okay with this, Tani?”

“...”

Silence.

More silence.

C’mon, Tani, please.

She stands there, gripping Shiomi’s hand tightly.

“I’ll take the silence as a yes,” Nataka says. “So, tell me Tani, since you door was open, did you hear anything else from the night?”

“What do you mean by that, Nakata?” Rai asks, before looking back to me.

“Well, if her door was open, then she heard everything from the time she left the concert, correct?” she asks.

Azama nods. “That would make sense...so, here’s a question then. Last night, who stayed back to help Shiho’s piano?”

“How am I supposed to know?” she asks.

“That would be kinda hard to answer, in her defense.” Obinata shrugs. “Were you making a lot of noise?”

“Well, we did bang the piano into my door a couple of times.” Shiho says. “Plus, *he* always yells.”

Tani snaps her free fingers, unenthusiastically. “Y-Yeah, it was Saishi, Azama, Shiho for sure. I don’t really remember if anyone else was there. Even if my door was open, I was still lying in my bed trying to fall asleep. I wasn’t paying attention to everything happening out there.”

“It does seem like a rather hard question to answer,” Sasada says, before turning to the Ultimate Beatboxer. “However, there must be something you remember, Tani. Please, all of our lives depend on this.”

Tani sighs, releasing Shiomi’s hand and resting it on her chin.

“C’mon, think,” Rai mumbles. “...please.”

“It was a lighter voice, which is why I thought it may have been Shimazaki,” she says, twisting her blue hair.

Lighter voice?

That rules out Saishi, Nakamoto, Obinata, and Shiho.

“This just doesn’t make sense,” Nakata says. “You got annoyed because you heard Yosano talking, but not before the rest of us were first coming back from the concert?”

“Like I said, I was too tired to get up,” Tani says, sighing again. “I just didn’t care at the time...and, the more I think about it, the more I think it might have been Shimazaki.”

“M-Me?!” Shimazaki exclaims. “Why me?”

“Just...the voice,” Tani explains. “Plus whoever was talking to Yosano said, and I quote, ‘You coulda let him go boom...it would’ve ended at that’.”

“Him?” I ask, tilting my head. “You mean Obinata?”

“I didn’t realize at the time, of course,” Tani says. “I thought it was a dirty conversation at first so I ignored it but thinking about it now...it was probably her.”

“W-W-Wait just a FRICKIN minute!” Shimazaki exclaims, jumping up and down at her stand. Her eyes are wide, her cheeks red, ginger hair falling over her mouth. “I would never ever ever EVER ever EVER do something like that!”

“Why so defensive?” Shiomi asks, his eyes narrowing. “That’s not gonna do you any favors.”

Shimazaki scoffs. “But I wouldn’t kill Obi!”

“Yeah,” Obinata nods. “Anyways, I honestly doubt Shimazaki could’ve or would’ve done it.”

“For someone who’s supposed to think logically instead of emotionally, aren’t you being biased?” Azama asks, tilting her head. “We need to go through every possibility there is.”

“I’m not being biased, for it is impossible for Shimazaki to have targeted me last night.”

“And, how are you so sure?” Shiomi asks.

“I slept over Obi’s place last night!” the arsonist exclaims.

…

Obinata…

...and Shimazaki?

I’ve got to admit, I wouldn’t think Obinata would actually make a move this early…

It’s quiet in the room...so quiet.

“A-A girl and a boy staying in the same room overnight?!” Saishi exclaims. “That’s unholy!”

Oh Saishi, bless your soul.

“...geez, you’re acting like they just killed someone.” Tomori sighs.

“W-Woah, Obi-chi.” Nakamoto says...he sounds amazed. “I didn’t know you had it in you!”

“Oh, quiet. She stayed the night because she wasn’t feeling well.” Obinata sighs -- to which Shimazaki nods. “Nakamoto wouldn’t answer his door, she told me, so she came to me for help.”

“There you have it, BLUE BABY!” Shimazaki yells. “Couldn’t have been me. Nope!”

Blue Baby?

“S-So, it could’ve been anyone else, really.” Tani says, shrugging her shoulders. “Just because I didn’t recognize the voice means I did it.”

“Of course it doesn’t.” Nakata says. “However, earlier in the trial did you throw a little blame at Shimazaki, didn’t you?”

Tani tilts her head. “When?”

Oh.

“Do you mean when she asked Shimazaki how she figured out Obinata’s doorknob was broken?” I ask, to which Nakata nods.

“Indeed.”

“Was there really anything suspicious about that, however?” Sasada says. “I remember what she said vaguely, but it was a pretty lackluster question. If she didn’t ask it, I would’ve.”

“Well, if you think of it as she was planting seeds of doubt in our brains regarding Mio-chi, then it makes sense.” Nakamoto says. “Plus, Tani didn’t help at all this trial...no offense.”

“None taken,” she says. “I had nothing to say, that’s all.”

“Not everyone helped though!” Shiomi interrupts. “Yuka wasn’t much help either! Neither was Kitoaji!” he pauses, turning to Nakata. “And if you guys were right about their being a confrontation, then Tani couldn’t have done it! Tani couldn’t have taken Yosano on in a fight.”

“Well, yeah…” Azama trails off. “...Yosano was one of the stronger people here.”

“And, what if Tani took her on from behind?” Obinata asks. “A nicely planted fist on the back of her head could’ve taken her out, no matter the mismatch.”

“B-But she couldn’t--”

“And why couldn’t she, Shiomi?” Shiho asks. His tone is sharp, his eyes are wide with anger. “What’s so fucking preposterous about that? You’ve only met her a fucking week ago! You don’t know who the fuck she is. You don’t know anything about her. She could be a fucking psycho, for all we know! Just listen to logic for once since we’ve been here! Get your sentimentalism bullcrap out of here.”

S-Shiho…?

“That isn’t necessary, Shi--”

“You too, cunt!” Shiho yells. His words cut through mine like a knife...I’m...powerless. “Defending people based solely on emotions is what’s going to get us all killed! Just...fucking shut up...and let her defend herself.” he pauses, giggling to himself. “If she’ll talk at all. I mean, other than you Shiomi, has she even had a one-on-one with anyone else? She avoided us on purpose, didn’t she? She did it so that when she killed she wouldn’t lose anyone important to her. It was an excellent idea...emotions wouldn’t have stopped her from getting the job done.” he pauses again and looks up to Nakata. “This was what you wanted, right? When you kept saying we were close to finding the culprit? You were waiting for a slipup.”

I can’t help but look over at Tani, who now holds her face in her trembling hands. Tears fall from her bright blue eyes, landing on the podium in front of her.

...Tani...please...please let them be wrong…

“That is correct.” Nakata nods. “Fear is stronger than logic, sometimes.”

Shiho chuckles, looking back to Tani and Shiomi. “Well, there we have it. Tani killed Miss Yosano...and for what reason? Well, who knows. I only wonder if Tani over here enjoyed it--”

“SHUT UP,” Tani suddenly screams, shaking her head back and forth. Her voice is shaky, high-pitched...she sounded emotional again. I barely notice Rai jump backwards toward me out of shock. “I-I didn’t want to kill anyone! I wasn’t going to...but...you all made me.”

“You all?” Satoshi asks, tilting his head. “What do you mean by that?”

She slams her hands down on the stand. “None of you ever talked to me! I was alone and confused and scared and it killed me. No one...no one ever got to know me...no one tried to. I just wanted someone I could confide in...but no one would ever listen to me or give me any second thought. Why should I let the only two people in the world to ever care about me die so the people who ignored me could live? I just--I just didn’t know what to do.”

“So it was the motive after all…” Satoshi sighs.

“T-Tani…”

My soft words must’ve caught her attention, because her eyes drifted back over to me. “I’m sorry, Ken. I’m sorry, Isamu.”

Tani please don’t be sorry. Don’t be sorry. Don’t...be...sorry...

Why are my cheeks getting damp again? What’s with this warmths?

“I-Isamu…?” Shiomi asks. His voice is getting wobbly now, tears are starting to form in the corners of his eyes. “W-Why? Why are you doing this? I-I refuse to believe it!”

“Tani please--”

“Ken, shush.” Shiho says.

“I...wasn’t able to keep my promise.” Tani forces a smile through her words. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m the one who should be s-sorry…” Why do I keep getting choked up on my words? “...I didn’t know.”

“How could you have?” she asks, wiping the tears away from her cheeks. “I’m tough to read.”

But still...I should’ve realized sooner.

I’m such a bad friend.

I’m still so weak and powerless...I can’t help anyone.

“Well, it looks like you guys are all decided!” MonoMech exclaims, jumping up from his throne. “Now, we’re going to go around the room, and everyone’s gonna say who they think the blackened is! Will you pick the right one, or the despairingly bad one?! I’m so excited to find out! Let’s start with you, Kiyo, and go clockwise!”

“Tani,” Azama says, her voice quiet and dreadful.

Sasada sighs, turning away from the rest of us. “Tani.”

I can’t help but watch Tani as Obinata says her name wistfully. She’s trying as hard as she can to be strong...to hold back the tears...to stop the shaking. I wish I could do something to help her...anything.

“Ken, you’re up.”

“O-Oh,” I say, looking down to the stand.

“It’s okay, Ken. I did this to myself.” she says.

“It’s not oka--”

“Just give me an answer or you’ll vote for yourself!” MonoMech yells out.

“Yes, it is.”

Stop, Tani. You’re not a very good liar.

I don’t want you to die...I don’t want anyone else to die...

“Tani.” I finally say, and MonoMech nods his head.

“Tani,” Rai says, and MonoMech begins to clap.

“That’s eight people -- a majority!” MonoMech exclaims. “Now...let’s see here…”

MonoMech pauses, his eyes scanning the fifteen of us, before he begins clapping again. “Congratulations, you guys are correct! The one who slit the throat of Chie Yosano was The Ultimate Beatboxer, Hiroko Tani!”

As a sigh of relief overtakes the stage, I can’t help but look away from everyone else as silence then falls.

Tani...why? I was going to help you. I already promised you that I’d help you...so, why?! Why would you do this? Was it really because you didn’t wanna get close to us in case you had to kill? I...I wanna know the truth...I wanna know why she wouldn’t let me fulfill my promise to her…!

But, I can’t force myself to say anything...the words won’t come out.

“Why did you have to kill Big Sister Chie?!” Yuka suddenly asks. “Why...her…?”

“We already went over this, didn’t we?” Shiho asks. “Yosano caught her trying to break into Obinata’s room.”

“I’m sorry, Yuka.” Tani says -- her voice heavy. “I did what I had to do to save the only people in this world to care about me. Because, even if I was caught, the people MonoMech kidnapped go free...and I can die at peace, knowing I helped them.”

“Why are you such a bad liar?!” Shiomi suddenly yells. “They’re not the only people who care about you...how could you even say that?”

S-Shiomi…

“I care about you!” he continues, suddenly grabbing her shoulders. “Why couldn’t you see that?!”

...I...I should go over there...maybe I can...help...her…

“Shut up!” Tani yells back, pulling away from Shiomi. “I didn’t want to see it! I still don’t wanna see it! If I let myself see what you thought about me...I wouldn’t be able to die…!”

Wouldn’t be able to die…?

Her voice cracks, and she falls to her knees. “If I knew you cared about me, how else was I supposed to die happy -- knowing that I only left behind people who hated me?! It would’ve been so much easier to die thinking none of you liked me...so...it didn’t feel like I died betraying my friends...I don’t wanna die like this...!” she pauses, letting the tears fall down her face as I finally make it to them. “...I wanted to die being hated by you all...thinking that my leaving wasn’t going to affect any of you...so I could die in peace…”

I drop to my knees next to her, too. “T-Tani…”

“But now I’m...full of regrets...I can’t fulfill my promise to you, Ken...and I’m dying knowing I’m leaving you behind, Shiomi, who cared about me...and even still, I betrayed you...I’m such a horrible person…”

“N-No you’re not!” Shiomi exclaims, before forcing a smile through his tears. “You--You saved your friends...they were in your band, right?” Tani nods, and Shiomi takes his glasses off. “You saved their lives...so...just--just be happy knowing that.”

“Well...if only it worked like that…” MonoMech suddenly says, and at that moment, time froze.

Tani’s eyes widen -- wider than that of any human I’ve ever seen before -- as she turns her head in MonoMech’s direction. “What do you mean by that?”

“Well, the hostages will live now...but, not all of them...” he continues, tilting his head, before pointing to the monitor in the gymnasium that hangs in the back of the stage.

Naturally, my eyes fell on the screen.

The monitor turns on, and it looks almost identical to that from when I saw Touka...same camera angle, and everything. However, it’s not my little sister, but two girls, about our age.

They’re watching the television in their own room, holding tightly onto one another.

“What is this?” I hear Sasada ask behind me.

“This is a live feed,” MonoMech says. “A live feed from the rooms of Rize and Fuuko -- two members of the a cappella group Trifecta.”

“A-Are you letting them go?” Satoshi asks.

“Well, just watch!”

Almost instantly after MonoMech says that, the door to the room in which Tani’s two band members are being held opens, and two men -- each donning a MonoMech mask -- enter the room, each holding a pistol in their hands.

And, in a flash, the two band members jump to their feet and, in response, the two men raise their pistols, and…

...they each fire one shot.

As the two girls fell to the ground, and their lives came to an end, Tani’s screams start. An ear-piercing, fearful scream just came flowing out of Tani’s mouth, tears started to stream down her face.

...wha--what? So…?

“You failed, Hiroko Tani! So, since you failed, they’ll pay!” MonoMech exclaims.

“W-What the fuck, man?!” Nakamoto fearfully exclaims. “B-But-?!”

“Well, since that’s out of the way, let’s give it everything we got! It’s puuuuuuunishment time!”

“W-WAIT!” Shiomi screams. “DON’T DO THIS!”

Shiomi leaps toward MonoMech...and, I don’t know why, but I couldn’t stop myself from jumping to my feet and grabbing onto him. “S-Shiomi, wait!”

“K-Ken, he’s gonna kill her--!”

“Here we go!” MonoMech exclaims, a sinister smile forming across his face.

As Tani sat in the middle of the stage, screaming her...her poor heart out...a metal chain suddenly sprang out from behind the doorway leading to the hallway. It quickly latched around her neck, and her loud, blood-curdling screams turned to a soft choke. And then...she reached out.

She reached out to Shiomi and myself, as I stood there holding him back, my hands wrapped around his.

Her blue eyes...they just screamed ‘Help Me’. But...what could we have done? Was there anything we could do?

And then suddenly...the chain yanked her away. My eyes could barely process the sight of Tani being dragged away by this metal chain, the sound of her choked-up screams and metal hitting the floor filled the room, and the fear she felt...I think we all felt it, at a more minimal level.

And then...within a moment, Tani’s body flies out of the gymnasium. It was so quick, so...forceful, and then we heard the crash.

There’s a moment of silence between the fourteen of us...but it’s almost instantly broken by him.

“T-TANI?!” Shiomi screams.

I...I can’t believe this is happening to us.

W-Why…?

Before I even knew what was going on, Shiomi had broken free of my grip on his hands, and was in the middle of jumping off the stage.

“W-Wait, Shiomi!” Nakamoto exclaims, and, by the time Shiomi is halfway through the gymnasium, Nakata follows him down.

Oh fuck...oh fuck...this is serious…

Fucking...what do I do?

I-I can’t just stand here, can I?

“FUCK!”

I can’t help but yell as I jump down to the wooden floor below the stage, and, as Shiomi and Nakata disappear into the hallway, I’m only halfway out of the gym.

“K-Ken, don’t just start running!” I hear Saishi yell from the stage. “I-It’s terribly unsafe!”

I-I don’t fucking care!

Shiomi...Nakata...Tani…

...is Tani okay?!

The second I got into the hallway, and, turn the corner...I’m faced...with another tragedy.

Shiomi is kneeling down before her, his head hanging low, while Nakata looks away with disgust.

And, as for Tani…

...the chain -- which looks like originally came from the ceiling -- leaves her dangling, her face ad body posture completely lifeless, her eyes glazed over...looking down at me.

I’m sorry, Tani, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.

''sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry.''

Before I knew it, I was on the floor, my face burying itself into the wood floor.

I could’ve stopped it I could’ve helped her I could’ve stopped it I could’ve helped her I could’ve stopped it I could’ve helped her I could’ve stopped it I could’ve helped her I could’ve stopped it I could’ve helped her I could’ve stopped it I could’ve helped her I could’ve stopped it I could’ve helped her I could’ve stopped it I could’ve helped her I could’ve stopped it I could’ve helped her

“N-No way--!” I hear Nakamoto cry out.

“G-Get her down!” I hear Tomori scream. “She’s still--”

“Look at her,” That’s Obinata. “Her neck is snapped...the chain must’ve done that when it rounded the corner.”

“...damnit!” the model exclaims.

Terror. Panic. Sadness. Anger. Regret. Guilt. Despair.

All of these emotions just came all at once when my eyes lied upon Tani’s swinging body...and it was just...so overwhelming.

I’m...losing it...aren’t I?

I feel a sharp pain in the back of my skull forming...the one I always get when I’m too worked up. I-I need to get out of here.

 *DING DONG BING BONG* 

“Excuse me students, it is officially 10:00 P.M.! That means it’s nighttime! The water will turn off in a few minutes, and don’t forget to lock your doors! We wouldn’t want anyone dying the first night would we? Puhuhuhu! Sleep tight!”

“It’s 10 already…?” Satoshi asks.

I...gotta go...to my room…

With no words -- and as fast as my shaking body could go -- I rose to my feet, and I left. I looked away as I walked past Tani’s body, I ignored Tomori, Yuka, and Saishi as they called after me...and I locked myself in my room.

And now, I’m lying on my cold mattress, staring up at the ceiling, and I can’t help but think about...about them.

Yosano’s cold, lifeless body. All of that blood.

Tani’s dead eyes, staring down at me.

I could’ve saved them both. All I had to do...was talk to her. See how she was doing...ugh, how could I be so fucking stupid?!

I could’ve helped them--

There’s a knock on my door.

I don’t wanna get up. I don’t want anyone to come in here and tell me to ‘cheer up’ or that ‘we did what we have to’...I don’t think my heart can take this.

They knock again, this time harder.

Ugh, fine.

I slowly rise from my bed, and, drag my feet over to the door.

With one swift motion, I pull the door open, and I’m face-to-face with Rai, who’s wearing their light blue shirt and short shorts, and holding a pillow in their arms.

“Rai?” I ask.

Even I can tell my voice is hollow.

“Hi, Ken,” Rai mumbles, looking to the floor. “Can I come in, please?” I nod, and Rai slowly walks into the room, tossing his pillow onto my bed. “Sorry for the interruption.”

“Anytime,” I say, and almost instantly Rai spins around, scratching the back of their head. “Are you okay, Rai?”

Rai doesn’t respond, instead they look to the floor, taking a deep breath. “MonoMech said that the other hostages are safe, in case you were worried. They wouldn’t be harmed and will be let go when this whole thing is over, he said.”

I nod, smiling. “Thank you...that’s...great news.”

Rai nods, before falling back into silence.

“...I guess I’m here to thank you,” Rai finally says, smiling gently. “For standing up for me in there.”

I shake my head. Really…

“It’s nothing, Rai,” I say. “I was just doing what I had to do.”

“N-No. I was easily the most suspicious there, but you--you still believed in me. You defended me. It just...means a lot.”

“I just couldn’t believe you’d hurt your friend...that you’d betray us...or, I’m starting to fall.”

“Fall?” Rai asks, tilting their head. “Really, you shouldn’t.” Rai giggles, before frowning once more. “I’m relieved though...I wasn’t sure if we were going to make it out of there alive today.”

Yeah...I wasn’t either...but...

“It’s...bittersweet.” I say, sighing. “I’m really happy that we made it out alive, too, b-but, seeing Tani…”

Tani...her screams...her broken body...why?

Why, her?

Why couldn’t she keep her promise?

Her promise that she’d talk to me more...that we’d escape together. And now she’s dead. She’s gone.

“Is it my fault, Rai?”

“What?”

“Tani...is it my fault she snapped?”

“What do you mean? Of course it wasn’t.”

What do I mean...?

“Everything happened so quickly and I started getting left out.”

“I don’t know what to do anymore...I’m just--I feel so lonely sometimes.”

“She...she was lonely...because I forgot about her. If I didn’t...she’d still be alive. Yosano would still be alive…but I didn’t. It’s my fault she died. I’m the one who did this.”

Rai softly smiles at me, and takes a step closer.

“Don’t beat yourself up, Ken. You couldn’t have prevented what happened. You saw how badly she wanted to save her friends,” Rai pauses, looking to the ground. “Even if she couldn’t. But, those people meant the world to her, and, if you did get close to her, you might’ve ended up as the victim this time.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Maybe...who knows? I could’ve at least tried--”

“No, stop, Ken.” Rai says, giving me a little nudge with their shoulders. “There’s nothing you could’ve done.”

“I’m sorry, Rai, I didn’t mean to--”

“Don’t be, I figured that’s just the kind of person you are.” The kind of person I am...? “You seem like the kind to go replay events and think, ‘What if?’ That’s why I’m here now.”

“Heh, so I am easy to read, aren’t I?”

“No, I’m just good at it.” Rai says, before grabbing my wrist. “I knew you’d be beating yourself up over Tani...over Yosano. So, I’m here to ask you for a favor!”

“A favor?”

“Yes!” Rai exclaims, yanking pulling me closer to them. “Whenever you’re feeling down or guilty or anything negative...please, come to me! I don’t want you to feel like you’re alone or there’s no one you can turn to.”

I can’t help but smile a little bit…

“Thank you, Rai,” I say, lifting my free hand and placing it on their head. You’ve been thinking about me, haven’t you…? “It really means a lot to me, Rai. But...can you promise me something, in return?”

Rai tilts their head, smiling to themselves. “Sure!”

“Come to me if you need anything, too. If you need anything at all, please, don’t hesitate t come to me.”

Rai smiles, before looking to the ground. “If that’s the case, can I tell you why I was late this morning...why everyone started to suspect me?”

I nod my head. “Of course.”

Rai nods too, and lets go of my wrist to back away from me. “W-Well, how do I start this…?” Rai looks up, twiddling their thumbs. “I-I just need to think about how to say this.”

“Take your time,” I say, smiling at Rai, who smiles back.

Rai takes a deep breath and then…

...tears.

Tears begin to fall down Rai’s cheeks. It was…so sudden,

“I...got super sick, this morning.” Rai says, shaking his head. “I wasn’t sure what was going on, I was dizzy and confused and I took too many of them…”

“You took too many of what, Rai?” I ask, and I take a small step forward toward them.

“Do I have to say?”

I shake my head, and, offer Rai another smile. “Not if you don’t want to.”

“I-It was an accident, and I got it all out of my system before Saishi walked in, although he saw me c-cleaning it up.”

“I see…” Rai nods, wiping their cheek with their sleeve.

“I felt guilty not telling you, before. When you were defending me..but I couldn’t say it in front of Shiho or the others...you see how he get it.”

Before I could stop myself, I find myself leaping toward Rai and wrapping my arms around them. Rai’s body shakes, and I feel Rai’s arms wrap around me in return.

“You’re safe now, Rai,” I whisper, and I can hear Rai whimper through the cloth of my shirt.

I can’t even imagine how Rai was feeling throughout all of today...to wake up and almost hurt yourself, to come back from that and find Yosano dead and then to go through the trial and watch Tani’s execution...Rai, you’ve been hurting, haven’t you?

“C-Can I stay the night?” Rai mumbles. “Please, just this once.”

“Of course, Rai, you were gonna anyway, weren’t you? You even brought your pillow.”

I hear Rai giggle. “Thanks, Ken.”

With a heavy heart, I lock Rai in my arms as we go to bed on this...this dreadful day.

I’m scared for the future. I don’t know what’s going to come for us -- for Rai, for Yuka, for Shiomi, for Nakata, for myself.

I’m…

...I’m not the kind of person who survives these kinds of situations.

I’m not a protagonist. I can’t save my friends and draw out their beauty and get everyone to trust and rally behind me...I’m not like that.

So, I’ll die. Whether it’s today or tomorrow or next week or whenever...but, I don’t wanna end up like Tani. I don’t wanna die in vain.

I wanna die happy, like I’ve done something.

''I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die.''

…

I guess Tani’s not the only bad liar here, eh?