Talk:Beyond The Dead/Issue 2/@comment-1107423-20130810144809

I really like Walter already. His little speech to Lionell at the end showed a new side to him, a new perspective to his character. These two are already good enough to be considered my faves. I noticed you took the time to put:

"Local Target"

as a sort of transition to the scene where they end up at the Target store. You then start off the paragraph with "We finally got there", which is referring to the previous sentence before your transition talking about going to the local Target. So obviously, we know where we are and that little transition was unnecessary.

This was written a LONGGGG time ago, so this probably doesn't help you at all, just an observation I had ^^

Really liked the issue, you're still going slower and taking the time to let us meet these characters, which is awesome.