Adam in Space/Issue 5

"Adam, dude, you gotta look all up in mah face." KP say ta Adam, whoz ass just sits ridin' solo up in da corner all fucked up like a funky-ass biiiatch. "We gotta move on."

"Nigga, mah pimp ass brotha be dead!" Adam say all fucked up cuz Joel da pimp is dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. What tha fuck. Well shiiiit, it so hard ta believe. Joel n' his ass be pimp brothers fo' such a long-ass time. Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is gonna be his thugged-out lil' pimp brother, biatch? Adam can't be tha lone pimp now, nahmeean, biatch?

"Adam, dude, we gotta focus on Devon." KP all like. "Dude gonna find us."

"I couldn't give a fuckin shit." Adam all biiiatch. "Let his ass bust a cap up in mah dirty ass."

"But Adam nizzle--"

"I lost mah pimps fo' muthafuckin years now man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I lost all these playas up in DF whoz ass I can't name cuz spoilaz but I lost all kindsa muthafuckin pimps!" Adam say while givin tha middle finger ta tha number 128. "And now Joel, mah pimp. I can't deal wit dis shit."

"But, Adam, we need yo thugged-out ass. Da prophecy holla'd yo ass is tha only playa dat can save tha universe."

"Fuck dat prophecy n' fuck yo thugged-out ass." Adam all like dat n' da thug strutts away. KP be thinkin bout chasin his ass yo, but bein a wise asian, he knows dat Adam need ta be ridin' solo. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So, instead KP all like "Imma go find tha other survivors ta help mah dirty ass." KP uses his thugged-out asian ninja powers ta dissapear cuz fuck logic. This be a gangbangin' fuckin story, gots dat shit. Ninjas can dissapear tha fuck into mid-air n' you won't say shiznit bout it cuz fuck u ur not freestylin all dis bullshit.

Adam strutt thru some forrest all fucked up n' needin pussaaaaay, buut sadly, no pussaaaaay be round fo' Adam ta shred. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

Adam strutt tha fuck into a cold-ass lil cave n' lay his thugged-out ass down ta rest cuz damn do he need some shut eye. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So his thugged-out lil' punk-ass be chillin n' shiznit when suddenly he findz his dirty ass up in a strange location....at a hotel yo. Dude all like "what tha hell" n' then da perved-out muthafucka sees a sign n' it say he up in tha Hyatt Regency. "What tha fuckk" Adam all like.

"Adam." A voice speakz behind from Adam fo' realz. Adam turns round n' da perved-out muthafucka sees a white boi whoz ass is up in all white n' he is glowin n' he gots blonde afro dat is dope naaahhmean, biatch? This playa is dope.

"Cole pimp is dat yo slick ass?"

"Yes, dude, itz mah dirty ass. I be Cole." Dream Cole opens his thugged-out arms n' da perved-out muthafucka shares tha biggesst bro gangbang wit Adam known ta man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Well shiiiit, it aint nuthin but a gangbang so bangin dat virgins take a thugged-out dirtnap all over tha universe cuz of tha feelin (rip mah playas on UFSW, cept pimp KP, pimp PBR, pimp Jamie, forma pimp John). Then, next thang his thugged-out lil' punk-ass be knowing, pimp Dude comes in, pimpette Bizzleie come up in n' Hammer Time Chloe pops up fo' realz. Adam be all cryin cuz these be his bros, n' then pimp Joel comes up in too like "my nizzle" fo' realz. Adam gangbang dem all n' his thugged-out lil' punk-ass be like "waddup mah bois"

"Pimp Adam," Cole sayz, "we is here ta rap ta yo thugged-out ass. "

"Why tho."

"We need ta tell u dat u be tha chosen one n' it is yo destiny ta kick tha midgetz ass." Cole rap dat shit. "We know you be scared yo, but we want you ta know, dat we be up in yo' faaaaaace!"

"Yo ass are?"

"Us thugs wit you ta tha end of tha line, homie." Cole say n' he points at Adamz ass. "We be up in yo heart."

"This is yo' destiny, baby." Chloe say. "Don't be afraid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yo ass was made fo' all dis bullshit."

"I don't give a fuck if I can do it tho."

"Adam," Cole sayz, "yo ass is tha dopest leader I know. Yo ass can you use ur pimp skillz ta inspire, ta lead, ta do anythang you set yo' mind to. Yo ass be a special pimp, Adam. Yo ass is tha top billin pimp I know. I be glad ta be called yo brotha." Adam be tearin up. "We believe up in you, Adam."

"Yo ass is tha real mvp, adam" Duke raps from his corner.

"Yeah, man" Bizzleie say. "Yo ass ain't just no pimp. Yo ass is Adam fuckin Dugall."

"Yeah, I be Adam fuckin Dugall fo' realz. And I be tha chosen pimp!"

"Thatz right, brotha!" Cole clap like a school girl, while any suckas begins ta bow down ta Adam, whoz ass accepts dat his thugged-out lil' punk-ass be tha chosen one yo. Dude is meant ta do this, n' wit his thugged-out lil' pimps at his sides,, not a god damn thang can go wrong.

"Go kick they assholes, brother" Joel say ta his muthafuckin ass fo' realz. Adam then wakes up n' he all like "damn, itz time ta go save tha universe" fo' realz. Adam strutt on outta tha cave wit confidence n' da thug strutt round tha forrest until he findz KP, whoz ass has recurited a pimp ass army ta battle Nathan.

"Pimp Adam, you came just up in time biaaatch! Our thugged-out asses heard from our sources dat Devon has found tha location of A.J. tha Writer." KP sayz. "If Devon gets his thugged-out lil' power, we is all screwed!"

A lil african horny boi strutts up ta Adam n' lookz at his ass wit his crazy-ass mini-dawg dawg eyes. "Will you lead us, mr. pimp, dis aint no joke. pimp?"

Adam nod his head. :Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! yes, I'ma lead you, nahmean biiiatch, biatch? For I be tha chosen one!" Everyone cheer on Adam, while Adam grabs a gangbangin' fuckin minigun dat was hidin behind a rock, n' don't you fuckin question it asshole it mah rap so if I want it ta be there itz gonna be there!

"Now," Adam puts on his sunglasses n' smokes a cold-ass lil cigar while holdin a minigun "letz go kick some asses!"