Talk:Dead Awakened/Episode 3 (old)/@comment-26217707-20140410032200

It's Bait with a comment comment comment hey hi hello to unlock this comment solve for x: 236x^3 + 15x^19 + 12. Kp ur asian so this easy

I guess I'll start with the only real critique I have to get it out of the way. I think I mentioned it before but you tend to tense switch often. As in, you go from present tense to past tense, sometimes in the span of a single sentence. Maybe it's just me, but it's very noticeable and sometimes distracting.

NOW THE GOOD STUFF WHICH WAS LIKE A LOT OF STUFF

The writing was awesome. You know that, tho. Something about your words and 'ish is very engaging, so much so that I was able to read this 11k in one sitting without getting bored. You had three storylines here, and I think they all related flawlessly. More obviously you have Dimple's story/Kenberg's taking place at the club. At first, I thought Alex/Janie's story seemed kind of disconnected from the rest (and maybe I'm looking too far into this, idk) but I liked the way Alex's busy, stressful life juxtaposed with the club scene, and then you brought it back around by having her meet with Ken and Sullivan at Rico's, which was a great way to rap it all up. You mentioned you thought the pacing was off, but I thought it was pretty ace throughout the entire issue.

Onto characters. More than any of your other issues, I think this one warmed me up to your characters the most, and we sae a lot of personality from everyone. I reeeeealllyyyy like Alex ans her relationship with Janie. Her backstory is something I haven't seen before (lottery stuff) and rather than living this life of luxury...she's just a person. Then Janie's quiet-ness -- like Fitz, I'm interested to see how you dive into that.

Now we got the dude crew. Rather than blending together, they all stood out in their own way. That little bit of backstory from Darius was nice to see (it was sad kind of, but you know what I mean). The entire way they kind of...got tipsy-er throughout the duration of the issue was pretty humorous to me (Ramillo get ur dance on cmon boy). Speaking of Millo, I think he's my fav of that dude group there. Newbie, fitting in, chill as fuck...good combos.

Sullivan's dialogue is always really good, something I wanted to point out. Jeff Bridges is too perfect as Sully -- can imagine his voice perfectly whenever Sully speaks haha. Also Striker, for some reason he really brings out a lot of Kenberg. And it's one of the better uses of an animal character I've seen, although it's very early on in the story.

All in all, loved it af KP. One of my favorite things I've read in a while.

(Excuse typos, on phone)